“I love that it promotes safe and pleasurable sex …” Sex and Relationships Info and Advice for over 14s. See also free ebook.
This site is aimed at you if you are having, or thinking about having, sex. It’s also for you if you are interested in sex, or want to think more about you, your identity and your relationships. So the content is suitable for over 14s (sometimes older). If in doubt ask a parent or an older person that you trust and looks wise.
It’s really for UK readers which means I use words like ‘snog’, ‘shag’ and ‘fancy’ a lot but also talk about free services for young people available in this country.
If you want to get the best of this website on your phone/tablet/whatevz you can download the ebook for free here
Here’s an intro about what you can find here. Click on the images to go to the main pages or click on those above ↑
Let’s start with you, hello! Do you think about you much? What kind of person you are, what you are like and what your values are? There’s stuff here about that to help you think a bit about you and how this can affect what decisions we make about us. For instance this piece about self esteem and you can get a Big Up pit stop here when you are feeling a bit crap.
Think that people are gay or straight or man or woman? Think again, it’s more complicated than a lot of people think. Because of this a lot of people feel that they aren’t really referred to or understood in ‘traditional’ sex education. QUILTBAG sounds like a very practical storage solution that people my age and above might like, but in the field of Sex Ed it stands for Queer/Questioning, Undecided, Intersex, Lesbian, Trans, Bisexual, Asexual and Gay. Learn more about all those things here and here
Most people’s first sex experience is with someone they consider to be their boyfriend or girlfriend (awwwww)*. Relationships aren’t easy though – so this section gives advice about some basics that you might want to consider to make sure that you’re in a relationship that is good for you. I’ve got a brief guide to relationships, which does also apply to hook ups, that person you’re ‘just seeing’, and f*** buddies. How to tell someone you are into them, a guide to dating, dealing with common relationship issues with Dr Love and how to deal with heart break when relationships end.
*not strictly true, for more about masturbation scroll down.
So this is all the stuff about sex. Although everyone says that teenagers are at ‘it’ all the time, it’s not true. Most people wait till they are over 16 before they start having sex (which is the legal age to have sex in mainland UK).
People work out the ‘right time’ for themselves. It’s usually more to do with how they feel about themselves and the person they are in a relationship with rather than a being a particular age. If you’re not sure if you are ready for sex then I have advice here about that. Also stuff on how to say ‘no’ and how to say ‘yes’ to the kind of sexual touching you are comfortable with.
Sex isn’t just putting something inside someone else. In fact sex doesn’t have to involve a ‘someone else’ at all. There’s advice about non-entry sex and masturbation in this section. You’ll also find lots of advice about first time sex. This sounds controversial but I think if you’re going to do it then you should do it safely and pleasurably. I don’t think this is controversial, do you?
This is where you can learn how your sexual body parts work. Not just where babies come from but how to understand how you work so you can have pleasurable sexy time alone or with someone else. So learn about the clitoris and female G spot (look out for the videos too), and how the penis and balls work.
This is all the stuff you may have learnt about in school - condoms, contraception, STIs, blah, blah, blah. I’ve tried to make it interesting, practical and relevant. You can learn more about how to use condoms (featuring an amusing video of me), learn more about STIs and safer sex, contraception, the law and sex (it’s legal to have sex over 16 in the UK) and why booze and sex can be great, but often is not.
Porn can be exciting, interesting, boring, scary, controversial, confusing, informative and sometimes all these things at once. It may surprise you to learn that most young people, particularly those under 16, don’t look at porn or sexual images. But access to the internet is increasing because of phones (which often filter out adult content) and also using a computer at a friend’s house, which means the numbers of young porn viewers may increase. Some people want to look at porn cos they find it hot, others because they are curious or bored, others because they clicked on the wrong link
I’ve got a series of posts to help you to learn more about porn without having to actually watch it. My brief guide to porn is very popular, you can also learn about the difference between real sex and porn sex . I’ve also made some porn videos that don’t actually have porn in. If you’re a parent I’ve got some advice for you here about talking to teens about porn.
A new section with some practical tips on talking to teens about sex for parents.
Somewhere for you to ask questions about sex and relationships: not emergency questions though please. If you need help in a hurry in the UK click here
This is where you’ll see all the latest posts: including reviews, posts and rants from Team Bish, my team of young people keeping everything tight and relevant. Go Team Bish!
If this is all a bit much and you want some basic information to have on your phone for when you need it, go here
bishUK.com is brought to you by Bish Training (Justin Hancock) a freelance educator providing training, consultancy, project work and resources in the UK around sex and relationships. This website is free and will remain so. I will never try to make money from young people for sex ed. If you’re a practitioner perhaps you might want to buy some resources, training or project work. Perhaps you may want your own website for young people, or to use some content from this one for your own? For more visit bishtraining.com
© Justin Hancock, 2013 bishtraining.com
sex education, teen health, relationships, sexual health