Getting Paid to Have Sex


Lots of people have strong opinions about sex work: whether it’s right or wrong is up to you, but I’d encourage you to think about the reality of life for men and women involved in having sex for cash whatever you think.

If you are a sex worker and want to find a support project for sex workers near you then go to this brilliant website,  UK Network of Sex Work Projects, click on projects or on the map of the UK on the right. They can help you to stay safe, to deal with drug or alcohol use and to help you exit sex work.

I reckon that there are people in sex work who are fortunate and those that are less fortunate and some people who are in between.

For all sex workers there are other difficulties too.

  • It’s sometimes illegal to be a sex worker (or to earn money from a sex worker, in the UK)
  • It makes other relationships very difficult
  • It can make writing a future CV very difficult
  • It can be hard having a social life
  • It’s hard work (the ultimate customer service position)
  • Sometimes family aren’t that proud of their kids doing sex work

Now it makes me angry and sad that some people are treated very badly and become victims as a result of sex work. My anger and sadness is directed at people who

  • Force people to do this
  • Dodgy clients who don’t treat sex workers with respect
  • The laws which do not seek to protect sex workers in any way
  • The media that do not treat sex workers with the same dignity that they would treat non-sex workers
  • The problems of drugs and homelessness and the fact that we still have massive amounts of poverty.

People who are (or have been) sex workers who have chosen to blog their experiences, such as Belle de Jour, do not make me angry at all.

Here are some links you might be interested in.

Safety advice for sex workers from the UK Network of Sex Work Projects

The International Union of Sex Workers

Here’s an interesting blog from a former male sex worker Post Grad Gigolo

And one of my twitter chums tweets about her good and bad experiences as a sex worker here



Filed under Rights

13 responses to “Getting Paid to Have Sex

  1. Thank you for including my blog.

    I found this post to be well-written, balanced and insightful. I’m fully aware of the fact that not everyone is in sex work because they want to be.

    People like Belle/Brooke and I are certainly “privileged”‘ in our careers (or in Brooke’s case, her former career) and that’s not something I take lightly.

    Again, thank you for the referral and for your balanced coverage. Cheers!

  2. Well I looked at your fortunate and less fortunate comments, and all are true to a certain extent. But the less fortunate, and the down side of sex work comes from the prohibition of it, and the stigmatization from society and peoples overall attitudes toward the men and women in the sex trade business. I personally have been in the sex trade business. Been a victim of the stigmatization, the abuse from police, and the harassment of society. I believe that if sex work were made legal, and people were not prejudice against the men and women in the sex trade, and more respect, and protections given, you would not see the same types of abuses, neglect, and denegration as you do now. There are varying degrees of women in the sex industry. From the High paid High Class call girl to the Street walker, Truck stop prostitute. Yes, there are uneducated women forced into it, out of desperation, or forced by someone. If you make sex work legal, you then take the criminals out of the picture, and can open up education, and medical services to these women, and could possibly even help them out of their desperate situations without shame, and give them protection and help from whatever has caused them to feel compelled to go the route of sex work as a last resort. No woman should ever be put in a situation of using her body as a last resort for survival or against her will. The sad thing is, while sex work is illegal, these women cannot come forward and get help without shame, or abuse from law enforcement, or from society or from disdain from their own families. There is no incentive for them to discontinue the sex work. So they feel trapped and stuck. In my opinion, make the sex trade legal, and give them options, and opportunities. Stop stigmatizing them. In addition stop lumping the women who do enjoy the sex trade business in with those who do not, or who are forced into it. There are so many women who are in the sex trade business who do very well, and do enjoy what they do. Stop penalizing them, because of the criminals out there who take advantage of the prohibition against the sex trade business! It’s the prohibition that is the problem! Make prostitution legal. Society needs to stop with the laws that are based on religion. That’s what this really is, a law based on a morality from religion. I don’t understand how it is that its ok that a woman can use any part of her body to work and earn a living, but she can’t user her vagina! Totally stupid..

    • bishtraining

      Hi Cathy

      Thank you for your comments.

      Just wanted to remind readers that prostitution itself, in the UK, is legal. It isn’t legal to earn from a sex worker or to solicit sex work in the street, but the actual work is.

      In the US, it is illegal.

      Who else has something to say?


    • Ivonne Tovar

      I totally agree. I am currently in a master’s program and find Human Sexuality to be the most fascinating topic in this world. With sex comes responsibility and consequences. Let’s educate people (young, old, religious and non-religious) about the most common and universal practice on this planet-SEX!

      Ivonne Tovar
      Aurora, CO, USA.

  3. Arch

    Well id like to know about people who had been to a sex worker. Because ive been and i dont feel positive about it

    • bishtraining

      I guess just as not everyone is suited to being a sex worker, not everyone is suited to be a customer of a sex worker either.

  4. Talis

    I’ve arrived at your website from your very good article on sex education in the Guardian today. I’m afraid I found your writing on pornography rather disappointing. I’m glad that you are pointing out that porn isn’t a good source of sex education, but and found your ‘neutrality’ to actually be falling on the pro-porn side – no mention that if you don’t know where the porn is from, it could be a recording of someone being raped, no real mention of the gruelling work conditions in the LA porn industry (the ‘mainstream’ het porn industry), that while HIV is tested for, no other STI is, and that few women last long in the industry, and often feel that once they are on set, they have little choice about what happens to them.

    But I find this writing on prostitution to be completely partisan (“don’t believe what a Labour politician tells you regarding sex work”), with no mention at all of trafficking into the sex industry, or how demand may fuel trafficking and coercion. You use neutralising terminology like “felt they had no choice at all”, if you are homeless, a child, a drug-addict, being controlled through violence and addiction by a pimp, you have no choice, full-stop.

    You lose all credibility by linking to the International Union of Sex Workers, which isn’t a legitimate union at all, they are a lobby group for pimps and johns and brothel keepers (who make up the majority of their 200-odd membership) who’s only interest is in changing the law to make it easier to be a pimp or a john or a brothel keeper, and don’t actually do anything material to help prostitutes at all.

    How about linking to some women who describe themselves as having survived prostitution? The ‘Belle de Jours’ are a tiny minority of the whole.

    As I said, I found your piece in the Guardian very good, but if this is your underlying politics, I won’t be recommending you as a sex educator.

    • bishtraining

      Thanks for your comments. I always review my posts and will take your feedback into consideration when I next tweak the posts you mention. I’m trying to make sense of these issues for young people to enable them to make their own minds up. I never impose my own views on young people, whatever they are.

      If you have any links to recommend to me I’d be happy to consider including them.

  5. John Gaddis

    Aids, Drugs, Addiction, Beatings, Death are all possibilities for the common street walker in the USA. A step above would be Strippers which only has the advantage of not having to be out in bad weather. The only ones that possibly could be seen to have it good would be Escorts and Porn Workers (not all of those either). That is how it is in the US. Sexual Slavery is on the rise in the US. Mostly controlled by Street Gangs and Cartels reaching across the Mexican Border into the US which stock their Dens in regular everyday neighborhoods.

    Unless you happen to be in a position to just walk into a High Class Escort service, a persons highest probability in the USA just starting out in the Sex Industry is going to be a hard, slow, painful path to self loathing and early death.

    I for one do not see it as a viable option or career path for any Teen, Male or Female.

  6. dan white

    without them i would be a virgin

  7. stacy cummings

    I have a very high sex drive I’m looking to make some money to pay my bills I’m behine on my bills. Y not get paid for what I’m really good at and that’s sex baby .

    • Lucia

      @stacy : i feel the same way..i am a single woman with a high se x drive..i find that men offer a lot of money to have se x.. I am at a point where i am thinking: i could make a lot of extra money doing what i really enjoy and would be doing anyway…..

  8. hi…m 25…here….if any lady any age want to enjoy secretly..then call me =+918900408219 or skype hotboy8900408219

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