You may have heard about the controversy of Danny Dyer’s advice to a young man in Zoo Magazine (read about it here if you like). But I don’t think that the letter was answered properly, so I’m going to have a go! Be aware though I’m not in the least bit hard, I’ve never knowingly said the word geezer and I actively avoid getting into fights.
“I’m 23, not a bad looking bloke with a decent job, but I broke up with my missus a few months ago and can’t get over her. She seems to be doing fine. Any advice? ALEX, MANCHESTER”
Hey Man
I’m really sorry to hear about this dawg, break-ups suck hard. Most people suffer heartbreak over the years and it can sometimes feel that it will never end. However it will, trust me.
Firstly don’t assume that your ex is fine, she’s probably gutted about it too. You don’t mention whether it was a mutual break-up or whatever but people behave in different ways to try and cope with difficult feelings. It could be that she’s putting a brave face on it or ‘faking it till she makes it’. In a sense this is what I’d advise you to do.
You should spend time thinking about the end of a relationship, think about what actually happened, how did you feel, what have you learnt about yourself, do you need to work on stuff, how do you feel about you, what kind of person do you want to go out with? But don’t over think. Draw a line under it and move on. You wouldn’t be able to go back to exactly how it was anyway so don’t try.
Sometimes changing what we do can change how we think and what we feel (read my post about this here). So fake it till you make it. Go out, get drunk with your mates, flirt with some other women, learn to feel desired again. Get busy. Do the stuff you couldn’t do in a relationship. Take up some hobbies, get active, learn something new. You won’t feel better by making her feel worse.
You’ve got a bright future ahead of you and you will have an amazing relationship in the future. Trust me and believe in yourself.
Bish
