Kissing, snogging, lipsing, pashing, getting off with someone, tongue tennis is often the first sexual experience that people have and is also often the first sexual experience they have with someone knew. Because of this it can be really exciting but it’s also exciting because it involves so many senses all at the same time: feel, taste, smell, sight, hearing: Mmmmmmm!
But to start with it can be awkward. When you see people snog on the telly they don’t usually bang noses, or get hair trapped in their mouth, or dribble a bit too much saliva, or get a crick in their neck or accidentally bite each other. Like most things it gets better with practise and the best way to practise kissing is to find one person and kiss them a lot. But here are a few tips that might help:
1. Snog people you fancy
Sounds obvious I know but a lot of people just snog anyone and then wonder why it is that it wasn’t that great. The best kisses happen from kissing someone you fancy. The thought of kissing them makes you excited, you look at them or think about them and think ‘phwoar’ or ‘NOM’ or ‘Mmmmmm’.
And, obviously, they need to really want to kiss you too yeah?
2. Check your breath isn’t going to kill them
Even if you kiss someone you fancy, bad breath can be a big passion killer. Good oral hygiene is important here, so you aren’t subjecting your snog partner to particles of KFC you had 2 days ago – brush your teeth twice a day. You might not be snogging someone just after breakfast or just before you go to bed (and carrying a toothbrush around with you in case of kissing emergencies is probably not hot), so perhaps consider packing some chewing gum. Sometimes just drinking some water can help make your mouth taste ok.
But but but, you are not going to taste of nothing. We all have tastes and smells that might not taste exactly like Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. If you’re planning on spending any time up close and personal with another person you will have to accept that. We need to do our best to stay clean and fresh, but sexy times involve smells and tastes that we might not be used to. C’est la vie, innit?
3. Whoah there on the tongue!
Going in for a kiss with your tongue sticking out like a medieval jouster is not a good look. Why not aim for a nice kiss on the lips first. Pout your lips (pretend to be a goldfish) and aim to plant them on your partner’s plump soft lips. Gradually you can start to open up a little bit so that you can feel the inner part of their lips on yours. Try kissing just their lower lip, slightly sucking it into your mouth.
Then gradually you might want to touch the inner part of their lips with your tongue, then their teeth, then your tongue might come into contact with theirs. Some people then stick their tongues deep inside each others mouths, moving them around each other, tasting each other. It can get really passionate and people can kiss hard and fast or it can be slow and teasing. Slowly building up the excitement when kissing can feel really good and it’s a great way to start out.
When you get to this stage, as my driving instructor said (about driving), “Justin, if it feels good do it” *
4. Talk while you snog
It’s great to hear feedback on your partner enjoying the snog. This can be done mid-kiss with ‘mmmmmmmmm’ noises (which feels nice because it kind of vibrates against one’s lips). It can also be done by unlocking your mouths once in a while to look at each other close up and smile, before starting again. If you can think of a way to make it even better you can ask, very gently, if they can do something (say, ‘I really like it when you do this’).
If something is happening that you aren’t into then you can stop. It’s important that even with kissing that everyone is happy and agreeing to it.
Feedback is also nice after a kiss, say what it was like for you in a text maybe (so long as you trust them not to use the text against you – sorry to be boring).
5. Hold, touch, stroke, caress, give directions
Unless you want to, you don’t just have to stand there with your arms by your sides not touching each other. Holding hands, face, hips, arms, lower back, back of the head (pushing you closer to each other) can be great. Stroking arms, elbows, sides, chest, shoulders, back, neck. Playing with hair, stroking the ear, the neck and even pointing to where you would like to be kissed.
6. Kiss my…
Kissing is not just for the mouth. Kissing the ear, neck, shoulder, hands, wrists, arms can feel great for some people. It’s nice to change things now and again and try different things, but can also feel good just to do the same thing for hours.
For a great audio guide to kissing from the very wonderful Violet Blue click here
Got any snogging tips of your own? Leave a comment below.
Should I Kiss Someone? this post is mainly about having sex, but applies to kissing too. Only do it when you’re ready
Going Further Than Kissing – when you’re ready to do more than kissing
Sex and the Law a reminder of some of the laws around sex.
Ask Bish Under Age Kissing is it ok?
© Justin Hancock, 2012 bishtraining.com
*Though bear in mind, I still can’t drive…
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