Ask Bish: Vagina Bleeding After Masturbation

A young woman worried about why she is bleeding after masturbation, Some background on what this might be but also one of those times when it’s best to get checked out.

Okay, so my boyfriend and I masturbate each other (don’t dismiss this question yet, I don’t think I’m pregnant.) I’m on birth control pills, which I sometimes mess up by forgetting to take, but since I don’t use them as an actual form of birth control it doesn’t matter so much; it’s actually to give me shorter, lighter periods. Meanwhile, everytime after he masturbates me, I bleed. Not an intense amount or anything; just lightly for the rest of the day, like my period is. So my boyfriend masturbated me three times this past month, and I bled everytime. (Not due to fingernails or roughness.)

And now, according to birth control, I should be on my period… Except I’m not. I had cramping, headaches, all that fun stuff, but no blood. I’ve heard some things about masturbating / sex starting your period early. So is the bleeding earlier in the month part of my period?

And that rises a whole other subject about endometriosis; my aunt was diagnosed when she was about my age. I haven’t been, but it’s likely to be hereditary. I know bleeding after masturbation and sex is a warning sign of that too. So I’m sorta just wondering; Is that pieces of my period coming after he masturbates me, even though I’m on bc? Does this seem like a warning sign of endometriosis? I don’t have anyone else to talk to, and since I’m only fourteen, can’t take myself to a clinic to ask questions or anything without parents knowing (which I do not want.) So please answer this when you can. Thank you!

Hi Emma

I’m afraid I can’t tell you what’s going on in your vagina. I’m not medically trained, I’m a sex educator not a medic. I really think that the best thing for you to do is to try and get some medical advice, in person. This may mean having to tell your parents (though if you’re in the UK (which you’re not) you could go to a clinic without your parents knowing, confidentially). I’ll try and give you a bit more information which you may find useful (and some tips on how to talk to your parents if you need to) but I’m not going to diagnose you, ok?

Firstly you bleed after your boyfriend masturbates you: this may sound like a daft question but have you considered stopping this? Bleeding is a sign that something isn’t working properly. See also pain: are you in pain after masturbation? Is this something you are enjoying at all? Do you do this by yourself, if so does it bleed then too?

If you are feeling really aroused (turned on) then the opening to the vagina should feel quite slippy and more relaxed. Is this happening? If it isn’t then your boyfriend’s fingers could be stretching and damaging the vaginal corona, which is folds of skin tissue at the opening (more about this on this page). Sometimes the corona can bleed during masturbation, particularly if you are new to it, but this usually does not happen, particularly if you are relaxed, turned on and wet.

So if this is the case with you can I suggest that you don’t masturbate until you are feeling really turned on. You know how penises get hard as a sign that a guy is turned on? Clitorises work in exactly the same way too (the penis and clitoris are very similar, it’s just you can’t see most of the clitoris). The clitoris fills with blood which is then trapped when females are turned on. The whole vulva swells up and throbs and the vagina gets wet: this is the female body version of the boner. If you don’t have this it’s a sign that maybe you’re not aroused enough for the sex you are having. Explore different kinds of touch (kissing, stroking, whispering, rubbing, humping) and different ways of masturbating (for instance masturbating the clitoris on the outside rather than the inside).

However if you are getting really turned on and you know about all the above then it could be a sign of endometriosis which (as you say) may well be hereditary. This page by NHS Choices (usually a reliable source of information) gives more information about it. Bleeding between periods is sometimes a symptom of it (where the womb lining can be found outside the womb).  If you are on birth control pills (called contraception in the UK) it could be to help you have more regular and lighter periods (heavy painful periods are a symptom of endometriosis).

If it is this I think it’s worth checking in with a medic. They perhaps already suspect that you have endometriosis (which is why you’re on the pills) but haven’t told you about the potential bleeding in the vagina bit. This is the part where I think it might be a good idea to speak to your parents, your Aunt or someone else you can trust (is there a medical type person at school?). I’m assuming that they already know you’re taking treatment for your periods, so they perhaps may expect you to have other symptoms of endometriosis. Maybe the bit you don’t want to talk to them about is your boyfriend?

You don’t have to go into detail about what you and your boyfriend have been doing, you could just say to them that you have noticed some irregular bleeding in your vagina and that you’d like to speak to a doctor. At clinics over here (at one I work at for instance) when young people come in with their parents the doc always asks to see the young person alone if they want to. I’m hoping your doc will have the sensitivity to do this too, or you can ask to see the doc yourself. If you have alone time with the doc you can then go into a bit more detail about what’s been happening.

Wanting to see a doctor by yourself is something that your parents might not understand at first. I’m guessing your at an age where you are starting to feel more independent and want to make choices over what you do with your body (eg you have a boyfriend) but your parents may still see you as their child. It can be hard for parents to deal with that at first. Just to warn you (though you probably knew that).

But apart from that I’m not going to make any more guesses about what’s going on for you in your pants. Sorry about that. I hope this has been useful. I’ve left comments open below if you want to report back or ask a follow up.

Here are some links you may also want to check out.

Should I Have Sex? If you aren’t getting turned on at all it may be a sign you aren’t ready for sex yet.

Female Sexual Anatomy Here’s more about the clitoris (it’s big) and the vaginal corona

Womb and Periods and Stuff Here’s more about that pesky endometrium and your periods.

OMG YES, Hmmm, Not For Me Work out what kind of sexual touch you *do* want rather than what you think you should have

How to Masturbate Different ways for you to masturbate but also how to do it safely

Hope this helps!

Justin (Bish)

Okay, so my boyfriend and I masturbate each other (don't dismiss this question yet, I don't think I'm pregnant.) I'm on birth control pills, which I sometimes mess up by forgetting to take, but since I don't use them as an actual form of birth control it doesn't matter so much; it's actually to give me shorter, lighter periods. Meanwhile, everytime after he masturbates me, I bleed. Not an intense amount or anything; just lightly for the rest of the day, like my period is. So my boyfriend masturbated me three times this past month, and I bled everytime. (Not due to fingernails or roughness.) And now, according to birth control, I should be on my period... Except I'm not. I had cramping, headaches, all that fun stuff, but no blood. I've heard some things about masturbating / sex starting your period early. So is the bleeding earlier in the month part of my period? And that rises a whole other subject about endometriosis; my aunt was diagnosed when she was about my age. I haven't been, but it's likely to be hereditary. I know bleeding after masturbation and sex is a warning sign of that too. So I'm sorta just wondering; Is that pieces of my period coming after he masturbates me, even though I'm on bc? Does this seem like a warning sign of endometriosis? I don't have anyone else to talk to, and since I'm only fourteen, can't take myself to a clinic to ask questions or anything without parents knowing (which I do not want.) So please answer this when you can. Thank you!

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