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Porn – An Educational Guide

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Porn – An Educational Guide

An educational guide to the differences between sex in porn and sex in real life. 

I don’t think people go to porn to learn about how to have sex – just like they wouldn’t learn how to drive by playing GTA. But the problem is that many of us have had pretty bad sex and relationships education so there’s a gap between fantasy and reality. Also many young people haven’t had sex so they don’t have much real life experience to compare it to.

So this is why I’ve got so many posts about porn. These are the basics. Hopefully you’ll learn something, or at least LOL at the funny pictures.

They are acting
educational guide to porn they are acting

Even though they are actually having sex in porn scenes, they are acting. It’s kind of like wrestling on the telly, it’s all made up even though it’s real. They are usually acting to make it look better than it actually feels. It’s edited together to look more fun and generally more epic.

Also there is a lot more moaning and groaning in porn than in real life – again like wrestling. Some of the noises and screaming might sound like it’s hurting but it’s actually just overacting.

Porn norms
educational guide to porn PORN NORMS

Some things are so common in porn that you might think it’s ‘normal’ and that’s what everyone does in real life. For example cumming (ejaculating) on someone is very popular in porn, but not everyone likes it really. Remember that if you have sex it’s better to think more about what you actually want, rather than having sex that you think you should have. This means that sex is consensual but also more enjoyable.

It’s mostly for men
educational guide to porn PORN IS MOSTLY FOR MEN
In a lot of porn the actors look at the camera rather than each other. As most porn is made for straight men the woman looks into the camera so he can imagine he’s having sex with her. In porn made for women they usually don’t look at the camera, studies suggest that women watching find this a lot hotter.

Even in amateur porn (where it’s real couples having sex with each other and filming it), it’s usually the guy holding or directing the camera and the scenes end when the guy cums. However there is porn out there which is not just aimed at men. Some porn is made by women for women but there’s also a lot of porn for a diverse range of genders and sexualities.

Women in porn
educational guide to porn WOMEN IN PORN
Some porn can be quite negative about women. Some people think that porn shows women as passive sex objects who have no power, with no brains and who’s only purpose is to have sex to please men. What do you think?

Some of the story lines of porn can be negative about women, for example where women are ‘tricked’ into having sex. In reality these women are porn performers who are paid, but the story can be negative and unpleasant.

Also the language of porn can be negative about women and usually describes acts which are done to women rather than with them: eg ‘Watch ________ get pounded.’ Things like spanking and hair pulling seem to happen to women without talking about whether they want that.

Porn talk
Porn is really good at showing lots of people having what looks like very pleasurable sex. However it’s really bad at teaching how to actually have really pleasurable sex. In order to have really great sex the most important thing is to work out what it is you want (and don’t want) and to try and find a way to communicate this to someone else.

Porn is all about the sex and not about the talk but having really good sex is all about the talk.

The only talking that happens in porn is in the script, people calling each other names and people telling each other that they are enjoying it. So it’s like “you like that don’t you?” rather than “does this feel good?” or “oh wow that feels good.”

In porn all the communication happens off camera and so the sex they have looks really easy. All kinds of sex needs trust, patience and communication to be enjoyable – this is particularly true for things like anal sex or BDSM.

They probably don’t look like you
an educational guide to porn they probably don't look like you
There are a diverse range of bodies in porn. Older, bigger (BBW), hairy (eg Bears), there are trans* performers, genderqueer folk – although there aren’t many performers with physical disabilities. However many performers look similar – particularly those that are in the main studios.

Comparing ourselves to other people is often not a great idea but it’s good to bear in mind that porn stars are meant to look like this. They are meant to:

  • have little or no body hair
  • trim or wax their pubes
  • have bigger than average penises
  • have big boobs or slim tummies (or both)
  • wear make up
  • be able to get aroused and ejaculate

Condoms are rare and magical
educational guide to porn CONDOMS ARE RARE AND MAGICAL
Condoms are not often used in porn. However most gay porn features condoms and porn studios in California (that’s most of them) are now required to use them. Remember porn actors have very regular check-ups for HIV and other STIs, (usually once a month, sometimes less). They are very aware of the risks they take and some studios insist on using condoms and getting check-ups.

Do you think they should use condoms in porn?

Porn careers
educational guide to porn CAREERS
Pizza delivery guys really don’t get to have sex when they are delivering pizza. Same with gardeners, milk delivery people, pool cleaners, cable installers, plumbers, secretaries, lecturers, IT people and window cleaners. I haven’t read any research into which jobs are the most likely to result in having sex during the work day – but I think this is more to do with fantasy than real life. #justsayin

Porno chic
educational guide to porn PORNO CHIC
Women don’t always dress up like this to have sex. They also don’t always wear make-up or comb their hair. Many people (not just women) like to get dressed up, to look and smell nice before they have sex – but not all the time. There’s a difference between looking sexy and actually feeling it. Sometimes they are the same, but often they’re not. So if someone is dressed in a sexy way it doesn’t mean they want to have sex.

Group sex
In porn group sex is very popular, but usually people usually only like having sex with one person at a time. Some people do like group sex, but it doesn’t happen as much as it does in porn. It’s also very difficult to arrange because there are more people which makes it more complicated in making sure everyone feels happy and safe.

Of course some people like group sex, but it’s not as big as it is in porn.

Bisexuality
educational guide to porn BISEXUALITY
In mainstream porn, women are expected to get it on with men AND women. But two men can only touch each other in gay porn. Why? Because most porn is made by straight men for straight men and they maybe think that the world would end if a straight guy saw a bisexual guy. Lots of women like watching gay porn specifically to watch two hot guys going at it.

You might not like it
educational guide to porn YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE IT THAT'S COOL
If you pay any attention to the news you would think that all young people are into porn. It’s just not true. Many many people of all ages are not really interested in sex and there are loads and loads of people who love having sex but hate porn.

Even people that like porn don’t like everything they see. That’s cool. There is a huge amount of different kinds of sex on show in porn for different people with different tastes. What’s hot for one person might not be for another.

Porn Mass Debate
Many people think that porn is harmful. Some former pornstars have left the industry and campaign against it saying that it exploits women and hurts people watching it.

But many people think that porn is good. Women get paid more than men. Porn can show men and women positively too and can help people to explore their sexuality. Check this link about women who are Pro-Porn Our Porn Our Selves

A lot of people think that there is good porn or bad porn. Or ethical and unethical use of porn.

0 What do you think?

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© Justin Hancock, 2015

Title: Porn – An Educational Guide

Category: Porn

Tags: Body Image Condoms Equality Penis Porn Vulva

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14 Comment(s)

  • Jack Jones says:

    Why isn’t OK for kids to watch porn, but it’s OK for them to watch nearly any other genre? Tom and Jerry is full of violence. Are kids confused? Do cowboy and indian films make kids genocidal? Do crime dramas make kids criminals?

    It’s not that there is no porn for youngsters, is that there is also no educational sex films, “realistic” porn, or explicit documentaries. And yet there are informative programmes on nearly every other subject.

    The problem seems to be that the world confuses porn with any kind of sex, in the same way that it confuses nudity with sex. As a youngster once myself, I tried very hard to find explicit sex education; I had no idea what a woman’s genitals looked like, and was told that there were obscene: what a great message to teach youngsters.

    Our hospitals are full of people with drink and tobacco related issues (they kill at least 100,000 people a year). I’ve never heard of anyone admitted to a hospital for watching porn.

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