Category Archives: Staying Safe

Your guide to staying safe. Condoms, STIs, Contraception, The Law, Alcohol and Drugs etc

December 31, 2010 · 1:21 pm

Emergency Contraception

Hello there!

I’m told that having sex on New Year’s Eve is a very popular activity.

Now if you are a student of this blog then you’ll be experts at putting condoms on,  even when drunk: but sometimes shit happens.

If you’ve had sex without a condom, or missed a pill, or not used any form of contraception at all, and you have had penis in vagina sex, then I’m not going to lecture you or give you a hard look :|

But I will tell you about Emergency Contraception (also known as the Morning After Pill or in the UK as the Levonelle One Step or Ella One (brand name)).

It is one pill, taken as soon as possible after sex. It prevents pregnancy if taken quickly enough after unprotected sex, ideally within 24 hours but up to 120 hours. It is over 95% if taken within 24 hours.

It works by stopping any fertilized eggs from implanting in the womb.

In the UK, they are available for free from

  • Your doctor (GP)
  • Your local Young Person’s Clinic or Brook
  • Your local Reproductive Sexual Health service (or ‘Family Planning Service’)
  • Your local NHS walk-in service
  • Some GUM services
  • Pharmacists (some give it free to teenage girls, google ‘Free Emergency Contraception Scheme’ followed by your local area it to find out eg Sheffield, or Wandsworth)
  • Pharmacies can also sell it to women over 16, it costs £26
  • A&E departments (if you have tried getting it from everyone else)

For your nearest service go here

Some areas are starting to prescribe a new emergency contraception pill which is effective up to 120 hours after unprotected sex. For more on that read this. You could also have an IUD fitted within 120 hours of unprotected sex at a clinic.

And lastly have a happy and safe New Year. If you are planning on having a drink and having sex please read this before hand.

For more on Contraception and Services

How to Use Condoms

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

Hormonal Contraception

Non Hormonal Contraception

Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths

How to Be An Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex

© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com

Brook

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December 1, 2010 · 8:15 am

HIV and AIDS

December 1st is  World Aids Day (and my Aunty Betty’s birthday, Happy Birthday!), which is why people will be wearing red ribbons today and for the next few days (someone will wear a massive one on X factor).

On World Aids Day lovely, thoughtful and cool people wear red ribbons to show that they care, to help promote safer sex, to encourage people to look after themselves and each other and to reduce stigma. More on stigma later but for now the facts.

HIV is a virus which attacks and destroys CD4 cells in the body, which are the cells which help to fight illnesses. Unless someone with HIV gets treatment, the number of CD4 cells can become so low that they can no longer fight off illnesses, such as pneumonia,  and this can threaten their life (this is often known as having ‘AIDS’).

There is no cure for HIV.

But since 1990s there have been drug treatments which can help people living with HIV to stay well and live relatively normal lives. They can have sex, have kids, have careers, have fun, have a dance, drive around in their cars playing really loud music, nip out to the shop for a Double Decker and a can of Coke, that kind of thing.

But living with HIV is not easy and it’s a life threatening illness so we should try to avoid it.

The main way that people in the UK get HIV is by someone having sex with someone, who already has HIV, without a condom: specifically sex with a penis going inside a vagina or anus (arse), without a condom.

So we need to either use a condom for sex, only have sex with someone we know for sure doesn’t have the virus, or have safer sex.

It’s also possible to get HIV from sharing needles with someone who has HIV. It’s also possible to be born with HIV from a parent who already has it.

We can not get HIV from kissing, stroking, licking, massaging, rubbing or using the same toilet seat or towel or anything like that. OK? Got that?

We can have HIV for ages without knowing. It usually does not have any recognisable symptoms. In the UK they estimate that over 22,000 people have got it without knowing about it (1/4 of the total number in the UK).

So if you’ve ever had sex without a condom you might want to get a check-up.

For your nearest clinic visit http://www.condomessentialwear.co.uk/gum-clinic or click on the yellow box at the side of this page.

The test involves either a blood sample (taken with a needle in the ar or a pin prick to the end of your finger) or a swab from the inside of your mouth. The highly trained health care professionals will tell you what will happen and you can refuse any test.

Tests are free and confidential in the UK.

As it is one of the least common infections you may also want to get a check-up for everything else too (such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, which are very common, but less dangerous).

HIV must be the only illness in the world where people are abused and attacked and treated unfairly for having an illness. This is simply wrong. Do we go around calling people with cancer, diabetes or gout names?

Why? Well if you ask me (you did ask me yeah?) it’s down to most people being negative (or neutral) about sex. But also I think that it’s down to sexism, classism, racism and homophobia.

Anyone can get HIV. Anyone. Straight/Gay, Black/White, Man/Woman, ManU fan/Chelsea fan, Rockstar/Rapper, Sex Worker/Sexual Health Worker. There is no type of person that gets HIV. If we have sex without a condom we can get it.

So wear a ribbon and show you care and spread the facts and reduce the stigma.

More from me which might help

How to Use Condoms

Sex Infections

Ask Bish Safer Oral Sex

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

Check out this brilliant charity, supporting young people with HIV Body and Soul

Here is a video about HIV and stigma from the very lovely Konnie Huq

Practitioner? Go here for a free factsheet and image resources

Brook THT FPA

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August 6, 2010 · 3:39 pm

Condoms in Porn

That’s right, the first Bish porn film.

 

For more entertainment/education about porn try:

Porn: what is legal, what is right?

Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.

External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on

Stickman Porn Competition!

© Justin Hancock, bishtraining.com , 2010

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July 16, 2010 · 11:03 pm

Booze and Sex – the problems with sex and drinking explained

Alcohol can make you lose your inhibitions, which is great, so long as you don’t also lose your lunch and consciousness.

Continue reading →

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July 3, 2010 · 6:05 am

Sexual Health Services

Learn more about sexual health services for young people in the UK. What they are, where they are, what they do and what going for a check up or a chat at a clinic is like.

 

sexual health services infographic

 

Want this on your website/blog/tumbler etc? Copy and paste the code below into a post.

<div style=”clear:both”><a href=”http://bishuk.com/2010/07/03/sexual-health-services/”><img align=”center”  src=”http://bishtraining.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/sexual-health-services-infographic.png&#8221; title=”Sexual Health Services for Young People in the UK” border=”0″ /></a></div><br/><br/><div>Courtesy of: <a href=”http://bishUK.com”>bishUK.com | Sex Explained *a guide to sex, relationships and you (over 14s)</a></div>

 

Why hello there.

This post is really only relevant to those who live in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

In the UK we are pretty lucky to have free and confidential sexual health services for young people. You can get free condoms, emergency contraception, contraception, STI check-ups, pregnancy testing, impartial advice about pregnancy options, terminations of pregnancy (not usually in Northern Ireland though), counselling, advice, cervical screening, well man checks.  All free and confidential with  no prescription charges. Good eh?

If you click on the the top right hand corner of this blog or here then you can find your local place for these services. Not all services are the same though so I’ll try to make this clear in this post.

Many areas have young people’s clinics as well as adult clinics, if you are a young-un you can go to either.

Young people’s clinics offer very similar services to adult services but with staff who are trained in working with young people and aim to be more friendly and welcoming to the yoof. They also tend to be open after school (afternoons and evenings). Each clinic may offer some or all of the services above, it depends so make sure you find out they do what you want before you go.

If you are worried or want to know more about what may happen then click the image below. It’s an example of a welcome leaflet which we use at a clinic I work at. It will give you some idea of what happens.

Young people’s clinics are provided by the NHS (National Health Service) and employ their own staff, or they pay for other organisations to provide them. For example Brook are a charity who specialise in young people’s sexual health services, they provide really great services. Check out their website: just make sure you come back OK?

Terrence Higgins Trust (THT) also provide some services to young people.

So here is an example of a young people’s clinic in action. It’s a great project called KISS (Keep It Safe and Sorted, or Sexy, I forget which) in Uxbridge, London (or Middlesex, I forget which). It stars Average Joe and Condom Man!!!

Ok. Now to confuse you a little bit, clinics for adult sexual health are split into two types of service.

One mainly does the stuff to do with contraception, emergency contraception, pregnancy testing, terminations: these are known as ‘Reproductive Sexual Health’ or ‘Family Planning’ clinics.

The other mainly does STI check-ups and treatment: these are known as ‘Sexual Health Clinics’ or ‘GUM’ (Genito-Urinary Medicine) Clinics.

Remember each service should spell out exactly what they do, so go to the one which does what you want.

You could also just go to your GP. Many GPs offer sexual and reproductive health services and can be a very convenient place to get your contraception from, for instance.

For more detail on all the services available for adults and young people in more detail, visit Dr Petra’s blog

Pharmacists (chemists) are very useful places, particularly for the Emergency Contraception Many pharmacists are funded to give the Emergency Contraception for free to young people. So find out locally whether yours will. If not the emergency contraception pill (Levonelle 2) costs around £25.

The pharmacist will normally have a private consultation room where you may be asked for some information and given some advice about emergency contraception and safer sex.

All clinics to do with sexual health, for adults or young people, will provide you with free condoms! Hurrah!

Many areas also have ‘Condom Distribution Schemes’ and many of these are aimed at young people. The idea is that it makes access to condoms easier. They are great at providing condoms, but if you want more specialist advice and information they might not be able to help you but they will refer you to someone who can if they can’t.

In some areas you register and get a ‘C Card’ which means that you can go to a number of outlets near where you live to get them (though in practice, young people tend to go back to the same place). Connexions Centres, youth clubs, GP surgeries, local clinics are often part of these schemes: even barber shops in some areas!

Do an internet search to see if there is a ‘C Card’ or other great condom project in your area. For example here is a great C Card scheme in Hackney, London, called Free-Dom

Chlamydia is the most common Sexually Transmitted Infection, particularly amongst young people. You can catch it very easily if you have penis in vagina or anus sex without a condom. It usually has no symptoms (so you do not know you have it). It can stop you from having kids when you’re older. It is easy to test for (pee in a pot) and it is easily cured (a week of anti-biotics).

Because of this, if you are a young person in the UK, you might have had someone pushing a urine pot under your nose! You might even have had a letter about it from your local PCT (Primary Care Trust, the people in the NHS that provide these services).

Colleges, Schools, Universities, Workplaces and even some pubs and nightclubs have had teams of chlamydia screeners trying to get people to get a free test. If someone asks you to do a test, and you wanna do it, just listen to their instructions about how to pee in the pot and how they will let you know the result (usually they text you).

You can even get a free testing kit sent to you for instance here

As with everything on here it’s all free and confidential.

Now remember, to find your nearest place click on the yellow box above or here

For more on Contraception and Services

How to Use Condoms

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

Hormonal Contraception

Non Hormonal Contraception

Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths

Sex Infections

© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com


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June 8, 2010 · 9:28 am

Safer Shagging For England: ING-ER-LAND!

Just a quickie.

I got annoyed that some people made assumptions about England fans getting pissed and having unsafe sex at the World Cup, so I did this poster to try and put that straight.

Here’s how to use condoms, here’s how to have amazing safer sex, and go here for your local service to get some condoms and a check-up before you go to South Africa. All free and confidential.

COME ON ENGLAND!!!!

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April 18, 2010 · 12:50 pm

Herpes

Yo! Word. Shizzle etc.

This is about Herpes (Herpes Simplex Virus), which is a sexually transmitted infection: it can be caught from oral,  or penetrative sex or even just skin to skin contact, it’s easy to catch but it really isn’t that serious. Honest. Read on for more…

There are loads of different kinds of Herpes, some cause chicken pox and glandular fever for instance, but we are talking about Herpes type 1 and type 2. Herpes 1 is responsible for cold sores, which is very very common (often caught in childhood) and Herpes 2 is genital herpes.

Herpes 1&2 can cause small blisters on the part of the skin affected, which can burst leaving a sore.  It can also cause a flu-type illness. You can contract it from someone else by skin to skin contact. It is treatable with topical treatments (creams etc) and there are drugs available to prevent frequent outbreaks.

The outbreaks come and go, but the virus can remain in the body (dormant) when the outbreak has gone away. The body is very good at curing itself of herpes and outbreaks often only happen once and either don’t come back at all or become much more mild if they do.

The truth is that you might already have it without knowing. Herpes 1 is very very common and herpes 2 is common. As with most STIs people can have it without realising because they don’t get symptoms, or symptoms can be mild and unnoticeable, or the virus could be dormant within the body.

The most important thing to know is that you can only catch it from someone who has an outbreak, this includes the initial tingling stage before the blisters appear. During this period it’s best not to have sex, if you don’t want your partner to catch it.

You can get facial herpes (herpes 1) from kissing someone who has a cold sore outbreak (or has a cold sore about to happen). You can also get herpes 1 from having oral sex with someone who has a cold sore outbreak, this would result in an outbreak of herpes 1 on the genitals. Herpes 1 is less likely to recur.

Herpes type 2 can be caught from having sex (or any intimate sexual contact). If someone has an outbreak, or is about to have an outbreak, then they could transmit this to someone else if the affected part of the body touches another person. For instance, if someone has an outbreak on the upper thigh then they could transmit this, whether they are wearing condoms or not.

If you think you have an outbreak of Herpes then you should head to your GP or sexual health service for a confidential and free check-up. They will take a swab from one of the blisters to see if you have the virus and then will advise you on treatment and prevention. Herpes isn’t routinely tested for unless someone has an outbreak.

The truth is that it isn’t serious.

Like all STIs you should try to avoid getting it, but the worst thing about the infection is the stigma and hysteria caused by a lack of correct information. It doesn’t have any long term effects which other STIs have (though it can cause some complication during pregnancy which may result in a Caesarian section).

Don’t believe me? The Herpes Virus Association has a top website here and Dan Savage (king of sex advice columnists in my view) here agree with me.

More from me that might help

How to Use Condoms

Sex Infections

HIV and AIDS

Ask Bish Safer Oral Sex

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

© Justin Hancock, 2012 bishtraining.com

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January 13, 2010 · 12:31 pm

Condom Types

Hey Bish fans! There are many different shapes and sizes of condoms and they all do different things. Pasante Condoms even sent me a box of their Champion condoms which look like gold medals (see below).

As you know condoms are freely available from Reproductive and  Sexual Health Clinics, Young People’s Clinics, Condom Distribution Schemes and many youth clubs and Connexions centres. If you are very lucky you can even get them from a project I work on . However they rarely tell you anything about the condoms they are giving you.

So I’ll tell you.

This is the traditional shape of condoms. Usually they are around 52mm wide and are the same width all the way up. You’ll notice that condom companies say that their condoms are ‘teat ended’, they pretty much all have a ‘teat’ now, which is the bit you squeeze when you put them on.

Examples of condoms (the ones you can get free in the UK) which are straight sided

Condomi Nature, Durex Close Fit, Mates Original, Pasante Extra, Safex Natural and Sensitive

Some people don’t like this traditional shape as the penis isn’t the same width all the way up, usually, so…

Many condoms have this flared shape nowadays. They can be easier to get on (Durex call these condoms ‘Easy On’), and they can be more comfortable. There is a bit more room for the bell end to move around inside the condom and this can feel good for some men (bit like foreskin).

Examples

Durex Elite, Extra Safe, and Pleasuremax. Condomi Super Safe. Mates Natural and Super Safe. Pasante Regular and Naturelle.

Condoms come in a variety of thicknesses. They are measured in microns (a thousandth of a millimetre), the thickest available are 100 microns and the thinnest are 15 microns. (Super thick condoms used to be recommended for anal sex, but this isn’t the case anymore: just use lots of lube on the condom and on your partner.)

Examples of thicker condoms

Durex Extra Safe, Pasante Extra, Condomi Strong, Safex Forte Extra

Thinner Condoms

Mates Skyn, Durex Elite and Avanti Ultima, Safex Sensitive, Pasante Extra Sensitive and Unique, Condomi Ultra Thin

Non Latex Condoms are also available for people allergic to latex. These tend to be thinner and feel more sensitive too (they are usually quite expensive to buy – with the exception of Mates Skyn)

Mates Skyn, Durex Avanti Ultima and Pasante Unique are all non-latex.

Lots of people like using close fitting condoms because they like to feel that they are on tight, they like tightness and also they can sometimes make them feel like they make their penis harder. They are surprisingly popular.

Examples: Durex Close Fit, Mates Conform (they have a slighty tapered shape under the bell end), Pasante Trim.

In my experience it’s a myth that young men want XL condoms even when they don’t need them. XL condoms provide more comfort to the small number of men that have a larger than average penis

Eg Durex Comfort XL, Pasante Large and King Size, Safex Max Extra Large, Mates King Size, Condomi XXL

Condoms can smooth out the natural lumps and bumps of a penis and some couples find that using one of these kinds of condoms can counteract that.

Eg Condomi Stimulation, Pasante Ribbed and Dotted and Ribbed and Dotted, Durex Pleasuremax, Safex Fantasy Ribbed

These condoms have a local anaesthetic cream (usually benzocaine)  in the teat of the condom which melts over the bell end during sex, this slightly numbs the bell end making the man last longer, or go floppy. Some chaps LOVE these and others HATE them.

Eg Durex Performa, Safex Delay, Pasante Delay,  Condomi Max Love (coolest name IMHO).

All condom companies make flavoured condoms. They make oral sex (licking or sucking someone’s penis, clitoris or anus) safer and taste better. They can be used on penises but can also be used as dams to lick someone’s clitoris or anus by simply cutting them in half lengthways. You can also get some dams (thin sheets of latex) from some clinics or use non-microwaveable cling-film (the cheapest cling film at the supermarket). Once you’ve used a condom for oral sex the manufacturers are now advising that you use a fresh one for other kinds of sex after.

You can now also get warming, cooling and tingling condoms (Durex and Pasante mainly do these). Some people really don’t like them but others do.

Lubricant

When you use condoms if they get dry they break. All condoms have a water based lubricant on them, but if that wears off then you’ll need some extra foreplay (for vaginal sex) and / or some additional lubricant. Clinics should give this away to everyone in my view (I do), but lots of people think that it’s just for anal sex: these people are wrong. They are great for vaginal sex as well as giving great handjobs and fingering the clitoris.

It’s important that you use water based or silicone lubricant with condoms. Anything with oil or fat in can break condoms, eg massage oil, olive oil, cocoa butter, vaseline, lipstick, lip balm, hand cream, moisturiser. If in doubt just use water based lube, water or your own saliva.

Most condoms have non-spermicidal condoms nowadays.

For more from me you might find these links helpful

How to Use a Condom: including a video of me showing you (on a plastic penis, obvs)

Emergency Contraception: in case it all goes wrong

The penis: commonly what we put condoms on…

Clinics for young people in the UK are lovely and confidential and safe. However sometimes they aren’t as good as they could be at condoms and welcoming young men. If your local clinic isn’t giving out a variety of condoms that you like then complain, or tell me and I’ll complain for you (gets on soapbox). Condoms are one of the few things that men can use to keep them and their partners safe, if a clinic can’t or won’t offer the same information, advice and range of condoms as they do for other kinds of contraception then they don’t care about men’s sexual health.

If you are a clinician and you want to brag about your service then post something below and tell us about yourselves!!!

If you needed more reasons to stock a range of different sizes and types of condoms then read this paper from Sexually Transmitted Infections (BMJ)

‘Does it fit okay? Problems with condom use as a function of self-reported poor fit’ or even listen to this podcast from one of the authors

Right that’s it for now. Thank you Sophie for sending those samples of Mates Skyn condoms: really cool packaging! I may give some out as prizes.

I’ll leave comments open on this: hey why not tell us about your favourite doms, or favourite place to get them from?

I’m off to put mine into colour coded neat stacks.

brook

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October 26, 2009 · 11:54 am

How To Masturbate – the joys of solo sex explained

A guide on how to masturbate for males and females. Masturbation is totally fine, though not compulsory. Here are tips to make sure that you’re doing it safely.

This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.

Masturbation (wanking, frigging, tossing one off, choking the chicken, bashing the bishop, ‘staying in to wash my hair’) is great*. It’s teaches you about your body and how you can give yourself pleasure. It’s good to know how brilliant sex can feel before you start doing it with someone else. It’s also good as a stress reliever can loosen foreskin and many people find it helps with period pain. Most people do it because can feel so good and there’s nothing wrong in it – but it’s not compulsory, if you’re not feeling it that’s totally fine too.

Pro-Tip Make sure you’re in private and that you aren’t going to be disturbed (there’s a classic story about a mum bringing in a cup of tea). Also give yourself enough time to really enjoy it rather than just trying to ‘knock one out’ quickly (though sometimes doing it really quickly can be good too.)

*It does not make you go blind. It does not make you lose strength. It does not make you a weaker man. It does not make you a ‘slag’.

The clitoris has a skin ‘hood’ covering it to protect it as it is really sensitive. Try moving the hood over the clitoris in circles or from side to side or up and down or whatever feels good. Touching the clitoris directly can feel nice: try touching it lightly with wet fingers. You should feel the clitoris get harder and the whole vulva should start to get wet and feel sensitive and sexy.

Lots of people like to masturbate by putting their fingers inside the vagina. Different parts of the vagina feel sexy to different people. Lots of people like touching the front wall of the vagina (behind the clitoris): the ‘G-Spot’ area. The vagina will usually be wet if the person is aroused but some people find they need a bit more lubricant, such as water based lubricant or even their own saliva.

Pro Tip: probably a good idea to make sure that finger nails are trimmed and smooth before putting them inside

Lots of people like using sex toys to masturbate. There are lots of different ones for the clitoris, vagina, anus and penis. If you are going to use them you should also get some lubricant. If you plan to share them or use them in different openings you should clean them or put condoms on in between. You usually need to be 18 to get sex toys. To see what sex toys look like go to Sh! Womenstore

This is probably the most common way to masturbate penises. The hand acts like a pump moving the foreskin back and forward over bell end which is a very sensitive part of the penis. For circumcised penises, this is still a popular method, but they may need additional lubrication so that the bell end doesn’t get dry and sore (vaseline, cocoa butter, baby oil, water based lube if you’re using condoms).

It’s often a good idea to try something a bit different with penises so that masturbation doesn’t get boring. Many people like to try gently stroking the bell end with light strokes and wet fingers. Many people like to touch the frenulum (the skin on the underside of the bell end).

You can try anything else that feels nice*. Different lubricants, using two hands, using the other hand, turning the  hand around the other way, lying in a different position, trying to delay coming for as long as possible (this helps to control when you orgasm/ejaculate), using more than one sex toy, penetrating the anus (use lube, wash hands afterwards and before touching any other part of the body), using water, using a shower head, doing it in the bath (don’t hog the bathroom though), massaging the testicles, rubbing against a pillow, stroking nipples, not using your hands at all (some people report being able to orgasm without any touch at all), feathers, moving your hands in a different direction, touching yourself in other areas.

*As my driving instructor used to say, “if it feels good, do it.” Though bear in mind, I still can’t drive…

Try This Masturbation Quiz!

More About Masturbation

The Penis

The Clitoris

How to be an Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex

Am I Masturbating Too Much?

Sex Educators! Get a free poster and handout over at bishtraining.com

© Justin Hancock, (yes that is a funny name for a sex educator) 2012 bishtraining.com

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Songs About Self-Love
There have been so many great songs in the history of modern popular music that I thought it would be remiss of me not to put a couple in here.

This is ‘Vibrate’ by Outkast which also seems to celebrate black history, and as it’s Black History Month this is very relevant!

This is John Peel’s favourite song (if you don’t know him, you should); ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones. The beginning is missing, which is annoying, anyway…

And this is ‘I Touch Myself’ by Divynls

Brook THT FPA

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September 22, 2009 · 11:43 am

Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths – why you can get pregnant standing up

Lots of young people rely on their friends at school to teach them about sex and relationships: not a good idea. Don’t get me wrong, I think young people are the shizzle (get me?) but how many of you are Nurse Specialists in Reproductive and Sexual Health or Consultants in Genitourinary Medicine? Hmm? Because people often learn from their mates they also learn rumours and myths which aren’t true

Everything about conception, pregnancy and contraception below is TRUE, ok?

If you’ve heard any other myths or if you aren’t sure about something, then ask above…

A woman who carries condoms is sensible, smart, confident and independent. It does not mean that she will have sex all the time or will do it with just anyone.

It Is Possible To Get Pregnant The First Time You Have Sex

You can get pregnant (or get someone pregnant) on the 1st or 81st time you have sex. The only reliable way of having penis in vagina sex without having a pregnancy is to use a method of contraception.

There is no evidence that hormonal contraception causes weight gain: it’s a rumour: S.Gupta, “Weight Gain on the Combined Pill – Is It Real?” Hum Reprod Update 6, no.5 (2001): 427 – 431 Some women report that they have an increased appetite when they are using the pill or another hormonal method, but that doesn’t mean that the pill makes you fat.

Just Taking The Penis Out Before Cumming Does Not Work Well

This might be an effective method if it was done perfectly, but it is very very difficult. Trying not to ejaculate inside someone is a) tricky and b) you can ejaculate without realising. If you are wearing condoms and are anxious about the condom breaking then taking out the penis before cumming is ok and massively reduces the risk of pregnancy.

And BANNED from the leisure centre. For some reason people think that the sperm will swim away from the fallopian tubes in water: it won’t.

Crossing Fingers Does Not Work

Just hoping that you or someone else is not pregnant is not an effective method of contraception, mmkay?

Emergency Contraception is Safe

Emergency contraception pills (more about this here) are totally safe and can be taken a number of times in a year. A few years ago it was recommended that they weren’t taken that often, this is not the case now ok? Emergency contraception pills are great, just not as reliable as on-going contraception.

Apart from the big hole at one end to get the penis in, condoms do not have holes in. OK?! Also governments do not deliberately put holes in condoms or put HIV in condoms. This is complete bollocks (and I don’t use that word lightly). More about other condom myths here

Hormones in Hormonal Contraception Are Natural

Hormonal contraception contains additional female hormones which naturally occur in the body (oestrogen and progestogen).  They have the effect of fooling the brain into thinking that the woman is pregnant, this means that the eggs don’t get released and/or the womb lining isn’t created and a plug of mucous is created at the base of the cervix. It’s natural.

Side Effects of Contraception Can Be Different For Everybody

Just because your Aunty got moody on the implant doesn’t mean this will happen to you ok? Some people get side effects from contraception, some don’t and it all depends on the individual and the individual contraception being used. Remember also that not all side effects are ‘bad’: some are beneficial, regular, lighter or no periods for instance. Also some can help with spots.

Washing the vagina after sex does not prevent pregnancy. In fact some believe it may actually increase the likelihood of pregnancy (aiding sperm to swim past the cervix).

There is a Time in the Menstrual Cycle When It Is Not Possible To Get Pregnant

This is explained better here but just to say, pregnancy can only start at certain times of the ‘month’ but it is very difficult to work out when this time is going to be. Which is why we invented contraception. Yeah?

You Can Still Get Pregnant From Having Sex Standing Up

If you were really desperately trying to get pregnant then having sex standing up is probably not the best way to do it, however gravity is not a recognised method of contraception. If a penis is in a vagina then there is a risk of pregnancy.

If you have any others you would like me to add, or investigate then let me know! Just hit ‘ask’ at the top of the page.

For more on Contraception and Services

How to Use Condoms

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

Hormonal Contraception

Non Hormonal Contraception

How to Be An Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex

© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com

PS Practitioners, you might be interested in my Contraception leaflet which features this post in a different format on the back available here and also my new resource about Contraception and Safer Sex Safer Sex Aces

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September 18, 2009 · 5:44 pm

How far should people go? YOU DECIDE!

how far how quickly

Back in the day, when I were a lad, people used to talk about how far they had gone with someone (sexually)  in terms of bases. 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base and 4th base. (Yes we were so obsessed with rounders that we based our entire lives around it). Brook THT FPA

But things change. We have Hollyoaks now and games consoles that don’t require a cassette player, yes things really have progressed. But what about the bases? I’ve created a survey to ask you, YES YOU, what you think about how far people should go and how soon.

Click Here to take survey

When at least 100 people have done it I’ll upload the results here.

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August 2, 2009 · 10:41 pm

Sex and the Law

Brief guide to under age sex, consent, rape, sexual assault. Boring but very important.

Continue reading →

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August 1, 2009 · 11:08 pm

Sex Infections – STIs explained

If you spend any time having sex with other people you can catch germs which can cause sexually transmissable infections or STIs.

STI head

This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.

About The Main Types

We can do a lot to prevent getting an STI – particularly the most serious infections. Lots of people have sex and don’t get STIs by having safer sex. However sometimes it’s not possible to have safer sex, or we try but can’t or we choose not to. Sometimes it’s possible to get an infection even if we are trying to have safer sex.

A lot of people people experience stigma as a result of having an STI. No other illness results in people being judged or looked down on, but sometimes people are treated unfairly or discriminated against because they have an STI, particularly HIV.

There are over 25 STIs like Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HIV/AIDS, Herpes, Warts, Hepatitis, NSU and Syphilis. They are very, very common. An estimated 10% of young people that have sex have one. The most common bacterial infections are chlamydia and gonorrhoea. HPV (the virus that can sometimes lead to warts) is also very common. HIV (which can leads to AIDS) is not one of the most common but is one of the most serious – there’s still no cure for HIV.

How You Get An STI

You can only get STIs from having sex with someone with an STI – usually from penis in anus and/or penis in vagina sex. Germs in semen or unusual discharge can infect someone in their anus or vagina. Germs in blood or vaginal juices can get inside someone’s penis under the foreskin or through the pee hole.

STIs can also be caught from masturbating yourself immediately after masturbating someone else (by using fingers or using sex toys), although the risks are lower. They can also be caught from oral sex (blow jobs or going down) although the risks of getting HIV from this are thought to be very very low indeed. Some less problematic STIs can also be caught just by people rubbing their genitals together – such as genital warts or herpes if someone has an outbreak on their upper thigh for instance.

You Often Don’t Get Symptoms

STIs can cause painful and embarrassing symptoms which can require treatment, such as: itching, warts or blisters, pain when peeing, blood in urine, sore genitals, lower abdomen pain, unusual discharge from the penis, vagina or anus. Often getting treatment for these symptoms is why people go to a clinic.

However most cases of STIs have no symptoms. This means that people think they are fine (‘if I don’t feel ill I don’t have an infection’) but are still infectious and are able to spread the germs to other people they shag. This is important. Even if someone has symptoms they can often be so mild that they can’t be seen or felt – this is why I’m not putting diseased genital pictures here (the background image is what an STI looks like under a microscope). So the only way of finding out for sure is by getting a test.

No Symptoms No Problem?

‘So Justin, if I’m not ill, or in pain, why is an STI a problem?’ Good question (that I just made up). You can spread an infection even if you don’t realise you have it – this might not make you very popular with the people you’ve been having sex with. Also STIs can damage your health in the long term if you don’t get treated. They can make having kids difficult (or can cause dangerous pregnancies), they can damage your immune system and can be a cause of some cancers – so they can shorten your life.

Getting Tested

If you think you might have an infection from having sex you can have a range of tests done at a sexual health clinic. All tests are optional but can involve giving a urine sample, a small blood sample (sometimes this is done with a fingerprick), a swab (a vaginal swab can be done by the patient and is really easy), a sample of saliva or a physical examination of wherever you may have an infection. If you can get treatment free and confidentially from these services as well as condoms and advice about safer sex.

Getting Treated

All STIs are treatable and some are curable (eg chlamydia, gonorrhoea (which is getting harder to treat)). There is no cure for HIV at the moment but there are really effective treatments available to help people live long and happy lives – HIV is a managable illness, if it’s detected soon enough. In the UK, treatment for STIs is free.

Pro-Tips How To Make Sex Safer

Using condoms really reduces the chances of getting most STIs. They prevent fluids (semen, vaginal fluid, blood etc) from entering another person. So they make penis in vagina or anus sex a lot safer. They also prevent skin on skin contact for the area which is covered by a condom, so they offer some protection from HPV (warts) and HSV (herpes). Sharing sex toys can carry some risk so condoms can be put over those before being placed inside someone else. Oral sex on a penis can be made safer by using condoms. Or a condom can be cut in half lengthways and placed over the vulva or anus.

You can only get an infection from someone with an infection, so some sex partners reduce their risks from STIs by getting tested for infections, getting the ‘all clear’ and then only having sex with each other (or using another safer sex method if they shag someone else). Remember though it can take a few weeks for some STIs to show up. Get some advice from your local service about this.

Couples who avoid entry sex (particularly penis in vagina or anus sex) are at a much lower risk of getting an infection. It can still be really really enjoyable – in fact lots of people actually prefer having this kind of sex

So you should try and avoid getting an infection from sex, however I’m not going to tell you that these infections are disgusting and scary because often they aren’t. They are very very common and sometimes, shit happens.

More links that might help you

Herpes

HIV and AIDS

Ask Bish Safer Oral Sex

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

© Justin Hancock, 2013 bishtraining.com

Brook THT FPA

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· 6:07 pm

Contraception: Sex Without Making Babies – condoms, the pill and other great methods explained

Brief guide to different types of contraception. Good and bad. The most effective methods are hormonal methods, barrier methods or not having entry sex.

contra head

This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.

If you get all your sex and relationships education from watching Corrie, Eastenders or Hollyoaks then you might not be aware that you CAN have sex WITHOUT getting pregnant!

I know that Deidre Barlow going to a family planning clinic for a repeat prescription of the pill is not exactly riveting, but why is it that whenever there is a storyline about a man and woman having sex it always ends up that the woman gets pregnant with tragic ‘is it Ken’s or Mike’s’ story? (I haven’t watched Corrie for about 15 years by the way).

Anyway, moving on. There’s a hell of a lot that you can learn about Contraception. If you want more information than what I’ve presented here then I’ll put a load of links below where you can find out more.

contra body

Hormonal methods are also used to treat other health issues for girls, such as severe acne, click here to read more. So some girls are given these methods even if they are not having sex or even thinking about having sex.

If you are really really worried about pregnancy but want to have ‘full’ sex (hate that phrase) then you could

  • use a hormonal method as well as condoms
  • you could use condoms and not come inside your partner.
  • Or you could do all three, which my friend tells me is called ‘triple bagging’; but she may have made that up.

Related Bishyness

How to Use Condoms

Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there

Hormonal Contraception

Non Hormonal Contraception

Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths

Withdrawal Method: crappy contraceptive method but huge in porn!

How to Be An Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex

© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com

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July 11, 2009 · 9:45 pm

Don’t Be a Condom Dodger!

Dodger title

NO-ONE likes a condom dodger. Condoms prevent really nasty Sexually Transmitted Infections and anyone that refuses to wear them for sex should be dumped, or shamed, or avoided.

HOWEVER, there are lots of reasons why people don’t like using condoms or find using condoms difficult.So let’s not be too hard on them… yet.

Dodger Body

This is a great video about an old chap who loved getting his end away but would always use condoms. Nowadays condoms are disposable!

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· 8:09 pm

How To Use Condoms

Condoms are very effective at preventing most STIs and unwanted pregnancy if you’re having sex with a penis (or a toy). Learn how to use them here.

how to use condoms

There are lots of reasons why you should use condoms. They prevent mess (wet patch, so long as you remember to tie the condom after), they can help guys last longer at sex, they can make sex more stimulating, most people your age wear them for sex, they make excellent water bombs and party decorations.

The main reasons to use condoms though are: to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent sexually transmitted infections if you are having entry sex.  Condoms can’t offer 100% protection against both but if you use them properly they can be very effective. If you’re putting them on a penis you need to follow the instructions below or it’s more likely to break (you can put them on sex toys if you are sharing and don’t want to give each other an infection).

Here’s me, with a massive beard, showing you how in a video. Below that are illustrations to show you up close.

{Practitioner? Get this video on a CD to carry around with you on the Condom Teaching Pack, plus a slideshow, a handout and a comprehensive session plan, with loads of activities about how to teach about condoms.}

Sometimes condoms break, usually if they aren’t used properly or if they get dry. If you want to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, you can take the emergency contraception pill (well the woman can). This needs to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex to be effective but you have up to 72 (or 120 hours in some areas) hours after sex to take it.

Other links which may help:

Condoms: the need for speed

Condom Types: cos some people like to know what they are putting their penis inside

Hormonal Contraception

Busted! Contraception and pregnancy myths

Working with young people? Buy my leaflets about How to Use Condoms or even buy my training course

© Justin Hancock, 2013 bishtraining.com

 

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