As with all my posts about porn, this is not for you really young-uns. This site is for 14+ and this post is probably for older than that. If you’ve never seen porn and don’t want to learn more about it then do please (in the nicest possible way) go away!) Continue reading
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(As with all my posts about porn, this is not for you really young-uns. This site is for 14+ and this post is probably for older than that. If you’ve never seen porn and don’t want to learn more about it then do please (in the nicest possible way) go away!)
In this series of posts I’m going through some of the main ‘categories’ in porn so you don’t have to, or if you’re confused about what you’ve already seen. I’ll be providing information, general thoughts, discussion points and generally taking all the fun out of everything. (Remember the legal age to watch porn is 18 in UK).
As the name suggests amateur porn is made by amateurs. These are regular people making films of themselves or their friends/other lovers having sex. They aren’t usually doing it to get paid (although some websites do offer cash for amateurs to send them their material) they are doing it because they want to make their own porn films and for the excitement of being a porn star. Real people having real sex in their real messy bedrooms (tidy up people!), with a lamp that could fall over at any minute, with their pets in the background looking confused and slightly scared.
Real lovers, real hot?
Many people don’t like porn where they think that the performers are pretending to enjoy sex more than they actually are – lots of people think this is the case with ‘professional’ or studio made porn. People like watching amateur porn because they are peeking into the sex lives of another couple. If they see enjoyment on their faces they are more likely to believe they are enjoying the sex – for some people knowing or believing this is key to them enjoying what they’re watching.
Sometimes it should read ‘Amateur’
Some ‘amatuer’ porn is made by paid porn performers who pretend to be amateur. Porn companies realised sometime ago that amateur porn is pretty popular because some people like to see something which looks more realistic. So some porn is made using shaky hand-held cameras with the people involved often holding the camera (known in porn as ‘gonzo’) to make it look like it’s not professional but really is. This kind of porn is less likely to have messy bedrooms, bemused looking cats, bad sound, TVs on in the background and the sound of neighbours complaining about all the banging.
Real lovers, real sex?
As I said at the beginning, amateur porn is (for a lot of people) about people making their own porn films and the excitement of them being a porn performer. Because they are making their own porn often they are copying the stuff that they’ve seen in professionally made porn. They often look at the camera rather than just at each other. With straight couples the focus is on the woman with the guy pointing the camera at her. They do similar types of sexual activity as in pro-porn with the scene often ending with penis ejaculation (where scenes have a penis).
So it might be ‘real’ people but they are often making their own porn – which doesn’t mean it’s the kind of sex that they have all the time and nor is it the kind of sex that most people have most of the time. People have lots of different kind of sex which might not be shown in a lot of amateur porn.
(However because there is no financial incentive many people choose to film themselves having the kinds of sex which porn studios might not usually think is profitable.)
Is it all legal and ok to watch?
One thing to think about is whether everyone in the amateur porn agreed to it being put on a website and also whether everyone is of legal age to be involved. Professional porn makers make sure that everyone is over 18 and that they agree to the images and videos of them being sold on DVDs or put on the internet. As we know with celebrity sex tapes, (like Paris Hilton) sometimes videos can be uploaded without the permission of one of the peeps involved.
Porn tube sites have terms and conditions relating to this stuff when people upload porn and they also have people checking submissions. However they don’t require everyone in the film to sign a contract agreeing to be uploaded to a site, this is the responsibility of the person uploading.
What do you think? I’d love to read your comments below if you have any points to make.
Anal sex is probably more popular in porn than it is in real life, but that’s not to say that it isn’t popular in real life.
People often under-estimate how many straight couples (and lesbian couples) have anal sex, just as people often over-estimate how many gay male couples (or men who have sex with men) have anal sex. There are a lot of different statistics about the numbers of people having anal sex (more on that here) but this article suggests that 1/3 of heterosexual couples and 2/3 of gay men have anal sex in UK.
People have been having anal sex (both heterosexual and homosexual couples) long before porn became as popular and widespread as it is today. Some people think that porn might be encouraging more people to try it, or that it might make people more inclined to say that they’ve tried it.
However if porn is making people want to try anal sex, I really hope that people are not trying to do it like they see in porn.
Anal sex can be a safe sexual activity but only if it’s done carefully and properly.
Lube & Patience Lube & Patience Lube & Patience Lube & Patience Lube & Patience Lube & Patience
The vagina gets wet when the woman* is sexually aroused – the opening to the vagina also relaxes, to allow fingers or a toy or a penis to slide in. This does not happen with the anus. *though remember not all women have vaginas
For anal sex to be comfortable and safe it’s best to use lots and lots of water based lubricant and to slowly slide a finger inside to relax the opening. It’s a slow process which requires a lot of care, a lot of trust, a lot of patience and a LOT of lube. (It’s something that a lot of couples feel they want to build up to after having other kinds of sex).
This is very rarely seen in porn. It happens, but it happens off camera. Remember porn is edited. You don’t see them having a cup of tea or farting or stretching their legs when they get ‘pins and needles’ either. They are using lube and gently stretching the anus away from the camera (as well as carefully cleaning the anus). However in porn it looks like the penis (or sex toy) slips inside the anus really easily and quickly without preparation at all
It’s one of those situations where porn is a really bad sex educator. If people did it like that they could cause themselves some pain and damage and maybe an embarrassing trip to a clinic.
Condoms
Anal sex is risky in terms of getting a sexually transmitted infection: such as HIV. It’s easier for bacteria/viruses from semen to get into the blood stream of the other person. Remember someone can only get an infection from someone who has an infection.
So it’s really important to use condoms for anal sex. Condoms are much more common in gay porn than in straight porn – in fact they used to be always seen in gay porn until relatively recently when ‘bareback’ became popular as a type of scene.
It’s also really important that once a penis or sex toy has been inserted inside someone’s anus that it isn’t put inside a vagina (or even someone’s mouth) unless a condom is put on it.
_______________________________________________
It’d be great to read your comments about this below.
Here’s the next exciting installment, the Bs
Check my twitter stream for blog updates (@bishtraining) and other sex and relationships education-ness.
More Bishness related to this post
An Educational Guide to Porn – how porn is just like wrestling on the telly (go Bushwackers!)
Celebrity Sex Tapes – an excellent post from Team Bish member Reni
Porn and the Law – with what I think is a very amusing illustration of a porn policeman
How to Have Sex – My most popular page at the moment. Features a totally unscientific graph
How to Use Condoms – Featuring a video of moi which people think is hilarious for some reason ….
HIV and AIDS – Everything you need to know about it
For an exciting teaching resource from me about porn, for parents, educators, practitioners get Planet Porn
© Justin Hancock (yes that is my real name, yes it has the word cock in it, yes I suppose that is funny) 2012 bishtraining.com
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December 1st is World Aids Day (and my Aunty Betty’s birthday, Happy Birthday!), which is why people will be wearing red ribbons today and for the next few days (someone will wear a massive one on X factor).
On World Aids Day lovely, thoughtful and cool people wear red ribbons to show that they care, to help promote safer sex, to encourage people to look after themselves and each other and to reduce stigma. More on stigma later but for now the facts.
HIV is a virus which attacks and destroys CD4 cells in the body, which are the cells which help to fight illnesses. Unless someone with HIV gets treatment, the number of CD4 cells can become so low that they can no longer fight off illnesses, such as pneumonia, and this can threaten their life (this is often known as having ‘AIDS’).
There is no cure for HIV.
But since 1990s there have been drug treatments which can help people living with HIV to stay well and live relatively normal lives. They can have sex, have kids, have careers, have fun, have a dance, drive around in their cars playing really loud music, nip out to the shop for a Double Decker and a can of Coke, that kind of thing.
But living with HIV is not easy and it’s a life threatening illness so we should try to avoid it.
The main way that people in the UK get HIV is by someone having sex with someone, who already has HIV, without a condom: specifically sex with a penis going inside a vagina or anus (arse), without a condom.
So we need to either use a condom for sex, only have sex with someone we know for sure doesn’t have the virus, or have safer sex.
It’s also possible to get HIV from sharing needles with someone who has HIV. It’s also possible to be born with HIV from a parent who already has it.
We can not get HIV from kissing, stroking, licking, massaging, rubbing or using the same toilet seat or towel or anything like that. OK? Got that?
We can have HIV for ages without knowing. It usually does not have any recognisable symptoms. In the UK they estimate that over 22,000 people have got it without knowing about it (1/4 of the total number in the UK).
So if you’ve ever had sex without a condom you might want to get a check-up.
For your nearest clinic visit http://www.condomessentialwear.co.uk/gum-clinic or click on the yellow box at the side of this page.
The test involves either a blood sample (taken with a needle in the ar or a pin prick to the end of your finger) or a swab from the inside of your mouth. The highly trained health care professionals will tell you what will happen and you can refuse any test.
Tests are free and confidential in the UK.
As it is one of the least common infections you may also want to get a check-up for everything else too (such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, which are very common, but less dangerous).
HIV must be the only illness in the world where people are abused and attacked and treated unfairly for having an illness. This is simply wrong. Do we go around calling people with cancer, diabetes or gout names?
Why? Well if you ask me (you did ask me yeah?) it’s down to most people being negative (or neutral) about sex. But also I think that it’s down to sexism, classism, racism and homophobia.
Anyone can get HIV. Anyone. Straight/Gay, Black/White, Man/Woman, ManU fan/Chelsea fan, Rockstar/Rapper, Sex Worker/Sexual Health Worker. There is no type of person that gets HIV. If we have sex without a condom we can get it.
So wear a ribbon and show you care and spread the facts and reduce the stigma.
More from me which might help
Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there
Check out this brilliant charity, supporting young people with HIV Body and Soul
Here is a video about HIV and stigma from the very lovely Konnie Huq
Practitioner? Go here for a free factsheet and image resources
Brook THT FPA
Filed under Staying Safe
Hey!
The risks of STIs for oral sex (licking or sucking a penis, balls, clitoris or vagina) are generally much lower than for unprotected penis in vagina or penis in anus sex. Lots of people choose not to use condoms or dams when having oral sex and only a minority of them catch an STI.
You can only catch an STI from someone who has an STI. Someone is more likely to have an STI if they have had unprotected sex with other partners.
Most instances of STIs don’t have any symptoms or just have very mild symptoms. All STIs are treatable and the most common are curable. Oral sex on a female is generally less risky than oral sex on a man. It’s possible to catch an STI from both giving and receiving oral sex.
Using condoms or dams can dramatically reduce the risks from oral sex but to reduce the risks even further: avoid getting semen in your mouth, avoid brushing your teeth or flossing before hand and avoid giving oral sex if you have a coldsore (or the beginnings of a coldsore – Herpes type 1).
If you guys haven’t had sex with anyone else, and you don’t get coldsores, then most people will think that’s pretty safe. But if you have concerns then go to your nearest sexual health service: they are free and confidential, click this link for UK services http://www.nhs.uk/servicedirectories/Pages/ServiceSearchAdditional.aspx?ServiceType=SexualHealthService
I’m not telling you whether it is definitely safe and I’m not going to tell you whether it is wrong or not: your call. Remember that sex under the age of 16 is illegal in the UK, though this law is not intended for consenting couples of roughly the same age (which you are).
Hope this helps!
Bish
To ask me a question click on the image below
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Another video from me. It’s embedded on you tube, because I’m a cheapskate; so if you can’t see anything below, your network admin has probably blocked you tube. Apologies.
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That’s right, the first Bish porn film.
For more entertainment/education about porn try:
Porn: what is legal, what is right?
Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.
External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on
© Justin Hancock, bishtraining.com , 2010
Filed under Porn, Staying Safe
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<div style=”clear:both”><a href=”http://bishuk.com/2010/07/03/sexual-health-services/”><img align=”center” src=”http://bishtraining.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/sexual-health-services-infographic.png” title=”Sexual Health Services for Young People in the UK” border=”0″ /></a></div><br/><br/><div>Courtesy of: <a href=”http://bishUK.com”>bishUK.com | Sex Explained *a guide to sex, relationships and you (over 14s)</a></div>
Why hello there.
This post is really only relevant to those who live in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.
In the UK we are pretty lucky to have free and confidential sexual health services for young people. You can get free condoms, emergency contraception, contraception, STI check-ups, pregnancy testing, impartial advice about pregnancy options, terminations of pregnancy (not usually in Northern Ireland though), counselling, advice, cervical screening, well man checks. All free and confidential with no prescription charges. Good eh?
If you click on the the top right hand corner of this blog or here then you can find your local place for these services. Not all services are the same though so I’ll try to make this clear in this post.
Many areas have young people’s clinics as well as adult clinics, if you are a young-un you can go to either.
Young people’s clinics offer very similar services to adult services but with staff who are trained in working with young people and aim to be more friendly and welcoming to the yoof. They also tend to be open after school (afternoons and evenings). Each clinic may offer some or all of the services above, it depends so make sure you find out they do what you want before you go.
If you are worried or want to know more about what may happen then click the image below. It’s an example of a welcome leaflet which we use at a clinic I work at. It will give you some idea of what happens.
Young people’s clinics are provided by the NHS (National Health Service) and employ their own staff, or they pay for other organisations to provide them. For example Brook are a charity who specialise in young people’s sexual health services, they provide really great services. Check out their website: just make sure you come back OK?
Terrence Higgins Trust (THT) also provide some services to young people.
So here is an example of a young people’s clinic in action. It’s a great project called KISS (Keep It Safe and Sorted, or Sexy, I forget which) in Uxbridge, London (or Middlesex, I forget which). It stars Average Joe and Condom Man!!!
Ok. Now to confuse you a little bit, clinics for adult sexual health are split into two types of service.
One mainly does the stuff to do with contraception, emergency contraception, pregnancy testing, terminations: these are known as ‘Reproductive Sexual Health’ or ‘Family Planning’ clinics.
The other mainly does STI check-ups and treatment: these are known as ‘Sexual Health Clinics’ or ‘GUM’ (Genito-Urinary Medicine) Clinics.
Remember each service should spell out exactly what they do, so go to the one which does what you want.
You could also just go to your GP. Many GPs offer sexual and reproductive health services and can be a very convenient place to get your contraception from, for instance.
For more detail on all the services available for adults and young people in more detail, visit Dr Petra’s blog
Pharmacists (chemists) are very useful places, particularly for the Emergency Contraception Many pharmacists are funded to give the Emergency Contraception for free to young people. So find out locally whether yours will. If not the emergency contraception pill (Levonelle 2) costs around £25.
The pharmacist will normally have a private consultation room where you may be asked for some information and given some advice about emergency contraception and safer sex.
All clinics to do with sexual health, for adults or young people, will provide you with free condoms! Hurrah!
Many areas also have ‘Condom Distribution Schemes’ and many of these are aimed at young people. The idea is that it makes access to condoms easier. They are great at providing condoms, but if you want more specialist advice and information they might not be able to help you but they will refer you to someone who can if they can’t.
In some areas you register and get a ‘C Card’ which means that you can go to a number of outlets near where you live to get them (though in practice, young people tend to go back to the same place). Connexions Centres, youth clubs, GP surgeries, local clinics are often part of these schemes: even barber shops in some areas!
Do an internet search to see if there is a ‘C Card’ or other great condom project in your area. For example here is a great C Card scheme in Hackney, London, called Free-Dom
Chlamydia is the most common Sexually Transmitted Infection, particularly amongst young people. You can catch it very easily if you have penis in vagina or anus sex without a condom. It usually has no symptoms (so you do not know you have it). It can stop you from having kids when you’re older. It is easy to test for (pee in a pot) and it is easily cured (a week of anti-biotics).
Because of this, if you are a young person in the UK, you might have had someone pushing a urine pot under your nose! You might even have had a letter about it from your local PCT (Primary Care Trust, the people in the NHS that provide these services).
Colleges, Schools, Universities, Workplaces and even some pubs and nightclubs have had teams of chlamydia screeners trying to get people to get a free test. If someone asks you to do a test, and you wanna do it, just listen to their instructions about how to pee in the pot and how they will let you know the result (usually they text you).
You can even get a free testing kit sent to you for instance here
As with everything on here it’s all free and confidential.
Now remember, to find your nearest place click on the yellow box above or here
For more on Contraception and Services
Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there
Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths
© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com
Just a quickie.
I got annoyed that some people made assumptions about England fans getting pissed and having unsafe sex at the World Cup, so I did this poster to try and put that straight.
Here’s how to use condoms, here’s how to have amazing safer sex, and go here for your local service to get some condoms and a check-up before you go to South Africa. All free and confidential.
COME ON ENGLAND!!!!
Filed under Staying Safe
I’m curious…
Thanks!
For more entertainment/education about porn try:
More entertainment/education about porn
Porn: what is legal, what is right?
Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Men or Women in Porn
© Justin Hancock, bishtraining.com , 2010
Filed under Porn
Check out my new vid or read in more detail below, or both! This is not for you young uns. Over 16s probably. Continue reading
Hey Bish fans! There are many different shapes and sizes of condoms and they all do different things. Pasante Condoms even sent me a box of their Champion condoms which look like gold medals (see below).
As you know condoms are freely available from Reproductive and Sexual Health Clinics, Young People’s Clinics, Condom Distribution Schemes and many youth clubs and Connexions centres. If you are very lucky you can even get them from a project I work on . However they rarely tell you anything about the condoms they are giving you.
So I’ll tell you.
This is the traditional shape of condoms. Usually they are around 52mm wide and are the same width all the way up. You’ll notice that condom companies say that their condoms are ‘teat ended’, they pretty much all have a ‘teat’ now, which is the bit you squeeze when you put them on.
Examples of condoms (the ones you can get free in the UK) which are straight sided
Condomi Nature, Durex Close Fit, Mates Original, Pasante Extra, Safex Natural and Sensitive
Some people don’t like this traditional shape as the penis isn’t the same width all the way up, usually, so…
Many condoms have this flared shape nowadays. They can be easier to get on (Durex call these condoms ‘Easy On’), and they can be more comfortable. There is a bit more room for the bell end to move around inside the condom and this can feel good for some men (bit like foreskin).
Examples
Durex Elite, Extra Safe, and Pleasuremax. Condomi Super Safe. Mates Natural and Super Safe. Pasante Regular and Naturelle.
Condoms come in a variety of thicknesses. They are measured in microns (a thousandth of a millimetre), the thickest available are 100 microns and the thinnest are 15 microns. (Super thick condoms used to be recommended for anal sex, but this isn’t the case anymore: just use lots of lube on the condom and on your partner.)
Examples of thicker condoms
Durex Extra Safe, Pasante Extra, Condomi Strong, Safex Forte Extra
Thinner Condoms
Mates Skyn, Durex Elite and Avanti Ultima, Safex Sensitive, Pasante Extra Sensitive and Unique, Condomi Ultra Thin
Non Latex Condoms are also available for people allergic to latex. These tend to be thinner and feel more sensitive too (they are usually quite expensive to buy – with the exception of Mates Skyn)
Mates Skyn, Durex Avanti Ultima and Pasante Unique are all non-latex.
Lots of people like using close fitting condoms because they like to feel that they are on tight, they like tightness and also they can sometimes make them feel like they make their penis harder. They are surprisingly popular.
Examples: Durex Close Fit, Mates Conform (they have a slighty tapered shape under the bell end), Pasante Trim.
In my experience it’s a myth that young men want XL condoms even when they don’t need them. XL condoms provide more comfort to the small number of men that have a larger than average penis
Eg Durex Comfort XL, Pasante Large and King Size, Safex Max Extra Large, Mates King Size, Condomi XXL
Condoms can smooth out the natural lumps and bumps of a penis and some couples find that using one of these kinds of condoms can counteract that.
Eg Condomi Stimulation, Pasante Ribbed and Dotted and Ribbed and Dotted, Durex Pleasuremax, Safex Fantasy Ribbed
These condoms have a local anaesthetic cream (usually benzocaine) in the teat of the condom which melts over the bell end during sex, this slightly numbs the bell end making the man last longer, or go floppy. Some chaps LOVE these and others HATE them.
Eg Durex Performa, Safex Delay, Pasante Delay, Condomi Max Love (coolest name IMHO).
All condom companies make flavoured condoms. They make oral sex (licking or sucking someone’s penis, clitoris or anus) safer and taste better. They can be used on penises but can also be used as dams to lick someone’s clitoris or anus by simply cutting them in half lengthways. You can also get some dams (thin sheets of latex) from some clinics or use non-microwaveable cling-film (the cheapest cling film at the supermarket). Once you’ve used a condom for oral sex the manufacturers are now advising that you use a fresh one for other kinds of sex after.
You can now also get warming, cooling and tingling condoms (Durex and Pasante mainly do these). Some people really don’t like them but others do.
When you use condoms if they get dry they break. All condoms have a water based lubricant on them, but if that wears off then you’ll need some extra foreplay (for vaginal sex) and / or some additional lubricant. Clinics should give this away to everyone in my view (I do), but lots of people think that it’s just for anal sex: these people are wrong. They are great for vaginal sex as well as giving great handjobs and fingering the clitoris.
It’s important that you use water based or silicone lubricant with condoms. Anything with oil or fat in can break condoms, eg massage oil, olive oil, cocoa butter, vaseline, lipstick, lip balm, hand cream, moisturiser. If in doubt just use water based lube, water or your own saliva.
Most condoms have non-spermicidal condoms nowadays.
For more from me you might find these links helpful
How to Use a Condom: including a video of me showing you (on a plastic penis, obvs)
Emergency Contraception: in case it all goes wrong
The penis: commonly what we put condoms on…
Clinics for young people in the UK are lovely and confidential and safe. However sometimes they aren’t as good as they could be at condoms and welcoming young men. If your local clinic isn’t giving out a variety of condoms that you like then complain, or tell me and I’ll complain for you (gets on soapbox). Condoms are one of the few things that men can use to keep them and their partners safe, if a clinic can’t or won’t offer the same information, advice and range of condoms as they do for other kinds of contraception then they don’t care about men’s sexual health.
If you are a clinician and you want to brag about your service then post something below and tell us about yourselves!!!
If you needed more reasons to stock a range of different sizes and types of condoms then read this paper from Sexually Transmitted Infections (BMJ)
‘Does it fit okay? Problems with condom use as a function of self-reported poor fit’ or even listen to this podcast from one of the authors
Right that’s it for now. Thank you Sophie for sending those samples of Mates Skyn condoms: really cool packaging! I may give some out as prizes.
I’ll leave comments open on this: hey why not tell us about your favourite doms, or favourite place to get them from?
I’m off to put mine into colour coded neat stacks.
brook
Filed under Staying Safe
When you use condoms it’s a good idea to learn how to put them on quickly before you (or your partner) lose your erection, get bored or change your mind. But it’s also important to put them on properly. Brook THT FPA
So I’ve made my first video for this blog! Woo Hoo! And yes that is a plastic penis.
More Bishyness which you might dig:
How to Use Condoms including a video from me showing you how.
Condom Types: cos some people like to know what they are putting their penis into
The Penis: condoms are usually put on these
Sex Infections: condoms are extremely good at preventing most STIs
© Justin Hanc0ck, 2012 bishtraining.com
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This is about porn. If you are a young un and never seen porn then please go away!
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
So lots of young people learn about sex and relationships from porn, for many young people it is a relatively safe way for them to learn about their sexuality (who they fancy, what kind of sex they might be interested in). The problem with this is that they can learn good and bad things. The legal age for watching porn is over 18, I think this is a probably good thing (though maybe it should be 16?). I think that you need to be old enough to understand some of the things going on.
Anyway I’ve written a blog below which should correct some misunderstandings you might have about porn if you’ve watched some and are confused. This is mainly about professionally made porn, though I think it also applies to amateur porn too (I think that amateur porn can recreate some of the norms and narratives of professionally made porn, so a lot of this is relevant).
Even though they are actually having sex in porn scenes, they are acting. It’s kind of like wrestling on the telly, it’s all made up even though it’s real. They are usually pretending to enjoy it, it’s edited together to look more fun, it lasts for ages, everything happens in the same order and they are putting on a show.
Porn sex is completely different from real sex.
More about this here
Some things are so common in porn that viewers can start to think that it’s ‘normal’. For example cumming (ejaculating) on someone is very popular in porn, but not everyone likes it really. Also anal sex is much more popular in porn than in real life.
In a lot of porn the actors look at the camera rather than each other. As most porn is made for straight men the woman looks into the camera so he can imagine he’s having sex with her. In porn made for women they usually don’t look at the camera, studies suggest that women watching find this a lot hotter.
Even in amateur porn (where it’s real couples having sex with each other and filming it), it’s usually the guy holding or directing the camera and the scenes end when the guy cums. Why does the sex always seem to end when the guy cums (when there is a guy of course)?
Some porn and sexy modelling (like Page 3 or Nuts) can be quite negative about women. Some people think that porn shows women as passive sex objects who have no power, with no brains and who’s only purpose is to have sex to please men. What do YOU think?
Some of the story lines of porn can be negative about women, such as Bangbus or other sites where women are ‘tricked’ into having sex. In reality these women are porn performers who are paid, but the story can be negative and unpleasant.
Also the language of porn can be negative about women and usually describes sex acts which are done to women rather than mutually pleasurable and consensual sex.
Don’t compare porn actor’s bodies with ordinary people. Few women have massive boobs and thin tummies. Porn actresses are often thin women who get boob jobs. Also porn actresses have little or no pubic hair and their vulvas don’t look like most women’s.
See the Bish video about this here
Dicks in porn have to be above average size (above 6 inches). The men also have to get hard (often relying on Viagra) and ejaculate on demand with a film crew standing around and the director shouting at them: even if they don’t fancy their co-star. They also often have to wax their back, arse and balls so that they aren’t hairy.
See the Bish video about this here
Condoms are not often used in porn (although they do use condoms in most gay porn). Porn actors have very regular check-ups for HIV and other STIs, (usually once a month). They are very aware of the risks they take and some studios insist on using condoms as well as getting check-ups.
Do you think they should use condoms in porn?
Plus check out this video from me
In real life people chat about what sex they like or dislike. They also talk about contraception, condoms, feelings, themselves, have a laugh and occasionally stop for a cup of tea. Porn chat is all about sex, it can be a bit degrading and negative.
Also there is a lot more moaning and groaning in porn than in real life, just like wrestling. Some of the noises and screaming might sound like it’s hurting, it’s meant to sound like they are enjoying it. Sex is not supposed to hurt. In real life some men and women like to make noise, sometimes not.
Pizza delivery guys really don’t get to have sex when they are delivering pizza. Same with gardeners and window cleaners. So I wouldn’t suggest that you apply for a job just cos you think you might get more sex.
Women don’t always dress up like this to have sex. They also don’t always wear make-up or comb their hair.
In porn group sex is very popular. But in the real world people usually only like having sex with one person at a time. It can be fun to watch because there is more going on, but it’s entertainment.They are getting paid to pretend to like it. The better they pretend the better they are at their jobs and the more they get paid.
Of course in the real world some people do like group sex, I’m just saying it’s maybe not as common as it is in the porn world.
In mainstream porn, women are expected to get it on with men AND women. But two men can only touch each other in gay porn. Why? Because most porn is made by straight men for straight men. However more women are getting into porn, so this may change and things might get better. Lots of women like watching gay porn specifically to watch two hot guys going at it.
Many people think that porn is harmful. Some former pornstars have left the industry and campaign against it saying that it exploits women and hurts people watching it.
But many people think that porn is good. Women get paid more than men. Porn can show men and women positively too and can help people to explore their sexuality. Check this link about women who are Pro-Porn Our Porn Our Selves
For more entertainment/education about porn try:
Porn: what is legal, what is right?
Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.
External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on
Could you help us research the area of young people, the internet and porn? If you can spare 5 minutes can you click here and do a questionnaire please?
Are you a parent, teacher, youth worker, sex educator? Why not buy this downloadable resource pack about working with young people around porn. Click below
all images and text © Justin Hancock, Bish Training, 2010
Talking to teens about porn, porn harms, is porn harmful, educational guide to porn, boys, lads, porn, sex
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This is a fantastic and funny video from guidetogettingiton, WATCH IT!!
One of my favourite things on the web is this comic strip about one girl’s thoughts about porn
http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,663683,00.html
While you’re at’ Gurl’ check out all the other amazing stuff there.
Fellow sex blogger Julian has written this lovely piece about how he became friends with a pornstar at the age of 16 and what she taught him
http://post-gradgigolo.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-first-sex-worker.html
Here is a great interview (not very loud though) with famous pornstar Nina Hartley. She promotes non-penetrative sex and talks about alcohol, feminism and stuff.
There’s no nudity in it
And here’s a video from clip from ‘Friends’: the one where Chandler and Joey get free porn.
Filed under Porn
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
We can do a lot to prevent getting an STI – particularly the most serious infections. Lots of people have sex and don’t get STIs by having safer sex. However sometimes it’s not possible to have safer sex, or we try but can’t or we choose not to. Sometimes it’s possible to get an infection even if we are trying to have safer sex.
A lot of people people experience stigma as a result of having an STI. No other illness results in people being judged or looked down on, but sometimes people are treated unfairly or discriminated against because they have an STI, particularly HIV.
There are over 25 STIs like Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, HIV/AIDS, Herpes, Warts, Hepatitis, NSU and Syphilis. They are very, very common. An estimated 10% of young people that have sex have one. The most common bacterial infections are chlamydia and gonorrhoea. HPV (the virus that can sometimes lead to warts) is also very common. HIV (which can leads to AIDS) is not one of the most common but is one of the most serious – there’s still no cure for HIV.
You can only get STIs from having sex with someone with an STI – usually from penis in anus and/or penis in vagina sex. Germs in semen or unusual discharge can infect someone in their anus or vagina. Germs in blood or vaginal juices can get inside someone’s penis under the foreskin or through the pee hole.
STIs can also be caught from masturbating yourself immediately after masturbating someone else (by using fingers or using sex toys), although the risks are lower. They can also be caught from oral sex (blow jobs or going down) although the risks of getting HIV from this are thought to be very very low indeed. Some less problematic STIs can also be caught just by people rubbing their genitals together – such as genital warts or herpes if someone has an outbreak on their upper thigh for instance.
STIs can cause painful and embarrassing symptoms which can require treatment, such as: itching, warts or blisters, pain when peeing, blood in urine, sore genitals, lower abdomen pain, unusual discharge from the penis, vagina or anus. Often getting treatment for these symptoms is why people go to a clinic.
However most cases of STIs have no symptoms. This means that people think they are fine (‘if I don’t feel ill I don’t have an infection’) but are still infectious and are able to spread the germs to other people they shag. This is important. Even if someone has symptoms they can often be so mild that they can’t be seen or felt – this is why I’m not putting diseased genital pictures here (the background image is what an STI looks like under a microscope). So the only way of finding out for sure is by getting a test.
‘So Justin, if I’m not ill, or in pain, why is an STI a problem?’ Good question (that I just made up). You can spread an infection even if you don’t realise you have it – this might not make you very popular with the people you’ve been having sex with. Also STIs can damage your health in the long term if you don’t get treated. They can make having kids difficult (or can cause dangerous pregnancies), they can damage your immune system and can be a cause of some cancers – so they can shorten your life.
If you think you might have an infection from having sex you can have a range of tests done at a sexual health clinic. All tests are optional but can involve giving a urine sample, a small blood sample (sometimes this is done with a fingerprick), a swab (a vaginal swab can be done by the patient and is really easy), a sample of saliva or a physical examination of wherever you may have an infection. If you can get treatment free and confidentially from these services as well as condoms and advice about safer sex.
All STIs are treatable and some are curable (eg chlamydia, gonorrhoea (which is getting harder to treat)). There is no cure for HIV at the moment but there are really effective treatments available to help people live long and happy lives – HIV is a managable illness, if it’s detected soon enough. In the UK, treatment for STIs is free.
Using condoms really reduces the chances of getting most STIs. They prevent fluids (semen, vaginal fluid, blood etc) from entering another person. So they make penis in vagina or anus sex a lot safer. They also prevent skin on skin contact for the area which is covered by a condom, so they offer some protection from HPV (warts) and HSV (herpes). Sharing sex toys can carry some risk so condoms can be put over those before being placed inside someone else. Oral sex on a penis can be made safer by using condoms. Or a condom can be cut in half lengthways and placed over the vulva or anus.
You can only get an infection from someone with an infection, so some sex partners reduce their risks from STIs by getting tested for infections, getting the ‘all clear’ and then only having sex with each other (or using another safer sex method if they shag someone else). Remember though it can take a few weeks for some STIs to show up. Get some advice from your local service about this.
Couples who avoid entry sex (particularly penis in vagina or anus sex) are at a much lower risk of getting an infection. It can still be really really enjoyable – in fact lots of people actually prefer having this kind of sex
So you should try and avoid getting an infection from sex, however I’m not going to tell you that these infections are disgusting and scary because often they aren’t. They are very very common and sometimes, shit happens.
More links that might help you
Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there
© Justin Hancock, 2013 bishtraining.com
Brook THT FPA
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Filed under Staying Safe
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
If you get all your sex and relationships education from watching Corrie, Eastenders or Hollyoaks then you might not be aware that you CAN have sex WITHOUT getting pregnant!
I know that Deidre Barlow going to a family planning clinic for a repeat prescription of the pill is not exactly riveting, but why is it that whenever there is a storyline about a man and woman having sex it always ends up that the woman gets pregnant with tragic ‘is it Ken’s or Mike’s’ story? (I haven’t watched Corrie for about 15 years by the way).
Anyway, moving on. There’s a hell of a lot that you can learn about Contraception. If you want more information than what I’ve presented here then I’ll put a load of links below where you can find out more.
Hormonal methods are also used to treat other health issues for girls, such as severe acne, click here to read more. So some girls are given these methods even if they are not having sex or even thinking about having sex.
If you are really really worried about pregnancy but want to have ‘full’ sex (hate that phrase) then you could
Related Bishyness
Sexual Health Services: what going to a clinic is like and what they do there
Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths
Withdrawal Method: crappy contraceptive method but huge in porn!
How to Be An Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex
© Justin Hancock 2012, bishtraining.com
Filed under Staying Safe
NO-ONE likes a condom dodger. Condoms prevent really nasty Sexually Transmitted Infections and anyone that refuses to wear them for sex should be dumped, or shamed, or avoided.
HOWEVER, there are lots of reasons why people don’t like using condoms or find using condoms difficult.So let’s not be too hard on them… yet.
This is a great video about an old chap who loved getting his end away but would always use condoms. Nowadays condoms are disposable!
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Filed under Staying Safe
There are lots of reasons why you should use condoms. They prevent mess (wet patch, so long as you remember to tie the condom after), they can help guys last longer at sex, they can make sex more stimulating, most people your age wear them for sex, they make excellent water bombs and party decorations.
The main reasons to use condoms though are: to prevent unwanted pregnancy and to prevent sexually transmitted infections if you are having entry sex. Condoms can’t offer 100% protection against both but if you use them properly they can be very effective. If you’re putting them on a penis you need to follow the instructions below or it’s more likely to break (you can put them on sex toys if you are sharing and don’t want to give each other an infection).
Here’s me, with a massive beard, showing you how in a video. Below that are illustrations to show you up close.
{Practitioner? Get this video on a CD to carry around with you on the Condom Teaching Pack, plus a slideshow, a handout and a comprehensive session plan, with loads of activities about how to teach about condoms.}
Sometimes condoms break, usually if they aren’t used properly or if they get dry. If you want to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, you can take the emergency contraception pill (well the woman can). This needs to be taken as soon as possible after unprotected sex to be effective but you have up to 72 (or 120 hours in some areas) hours after sex to take it.
Other links which may help:
Condom Types: cos some people like to know what they are putting their penis inside
Busted! Contraception and pregnancy myths
Working with young people? Buy my leaflets about How to Use Condoms or even buy my training course
© Justin Hancock, 2013 bishtraining.com
Filed under Staying Safe
