Tag Archives: Penis
Pubic Privates
So lots of people choose to trim, shave, or wax the hair around their genitals, known as pubic hair, or pubes. They might do this because
- They think it looks better
- They want to make their penis look bigger
- They prefer the feel of having fewer or shorter pubic hairs
- They think that their partner might prefer it (for example, to reduce the chance of pubes getting in the mouth during oral sex)
- Porn performers often have very trimmed pubic hair* and they may want to look like that (do people really do this?!)
- It might be a cultural thing**
All fair enough. If you want to trim, shave or wax your pubes then do it: they are your pubes you can do what you like!
However, it’s important to know that pubes have a function. They help to lubricate and protect the genitals. They prevent friction burns if you like rubbing genitals with someone else (which is very popular apparently).
I’ve heard stories of people shaving or waxing their pubes and getting a rash or little spots, and then freaking out that they might have an infection. But this is commonly because of either friction burns or ingrowing hairs caused by waxing/shaving.
Also it’s thought that pubic hair can help to release our own natural scent which makes us attractive to other people (pheremones). But I wouldn’t advise that you deliberately grow your pubes really long in order to attract someone! Lots of people might not like this smell and choose to shave or trim: that’s fine. But also know that the smell is natural and meant to be there.
* Porn performers have trimmed hair because it’s then easier to see what’s going on. Also porn is very visual and people making porn think that people watching porn don’t want to see loads of hair, especially as the camera is pointing at people’s genitals for such a long time. Some might argue that porn performers, especially female porn performers, wax their pubic hair to make them look younger than they are.
** Pubic and body hair in general is often culturally specific. In some cultures pubic hair removal is seen as a normal thing to do. Also it seems to be accepted amongst most people in the UK (for example) that women should shave their legs and/or armpits.
Shout outs to Team Bish for reviewing this for me especially @crowjake and @marmaladelucy
Filed under Sexual Body Parts
Don’t Compare – Guys (Video)
This is about the bodies that we see in porn and our own bodies. Often the only naked bodies that we see are those that we see in porn, films, telly, newspapers, ‘men’s health’, women’s mags, lad’s mags, fashion mags, music mags, gadget mags, in sport, music videos. Most of the naked bodies we see in those places are muscly, not very hairy and don’t have spots. If we compared our normal bodies with the bodies we see in these places we might think that we aren’t very attractive: this is why it’s not a great idea to compare.
The video and the piece below focusses on the men that we most often see in porn. There is often a lot more diversity in porn than people sometimes give it credit for. There are indie porn producers who are making porn which doesn’t follow the ‘rules’ about what men and women have to look like: including making porn which features trans men and women. There is also amateur porn which is more likely to show more ‘real’ looking bodies.
But most people who make porn seem to have a pretty narrow idea about what guys should look like: this is what I’m talking about below.
What penises and ‘men’ are supposed to be like in porn
Erections
Erections are funny things. Sometimes when we really don’t want an erection they appear (for instance sitting on a bus) and sometimes when we really do want them (at sexy times) they go away. This is fine, erections are mainly psychological and if you are patient, relax, breathe and try to get into your sexy zone this will the pressure off the penis then it will get hard again.
This happens to people in porn too. Imagine how the stress of having all the lights on, having people around watching, having a director telling you what to do, having a co-star(s) who you might not know very well: stress can make erections go away quicker than you can say ‘Mr Floppy is paying a visit’.
People in porn aren’t sexy robots: this happens to them too, but if it happens to them on a porn shoot they might not get work again. There are loads of men who want to star in porn: guys who get wood get work. Remember also that some people might take viagra to stay hard. Also remember that porn is edited, so you don’t see the parts when people are struggling to get hard again, or taking a break for a cup of tea or to eat a sausage roll.
Penis Size
Penises in porn have to be bigger than average size. Average size is between 5.1 and 5.7 inches when hard. Most porn producers ask for penises that are a lot bigger. I have no idea why this is. This means that it’s only a small percentage of the penis owning population that qualifies to be a porn actor.
Other tricks are used to make penises look bigger.
Such as using camera tricks. Camera shots are often focussed up close on the penis, showing its full length in wide screen and HD (often not showing the face that comes with the penis). Guys in porn are rarely overweight: having a slim and toned or muscly torso can make the penis look bigger. Also they often trim their pubes right back so that you can see the full length of the penis.
There are some porn scenes which feature very large penises which ejaculate enormous amounts. If you don’t see a penis directly attached to someone then it may well a fake plastic one.
Ejaculation
As well as staying hard, looking like they have a massive schlong, remembering their lines and wearing very tight t-shirts: men in porn usually have to be able to cum. Porn featuring penises puts a LOT of attention on the moment of ejaculation: they make a big deal out of this, it happens visibly (often on or over someone) and it usually happens at the end of the scene.
People don’t always ejaculate or orgasm when they have sex – contrary to what a lot of people believe, people can have really great sex without having their own climax. However in porn this is a big no no. Ejaculation is important and (like with erections), performers who can’t do it won’t get paid.
Some actors are also well known for being able to cum loads. Again this is a qualification for porn actors. Most guys come 1 or 2 teaspoons of semen.
Apart from Ron Jeremy, it’s really important for male porn actors to be in shape. In porn ‘in shape’ means muscly, hairless, tanned, spot and rash free. Unlike female porn stars there doesn’t seem to be much diversity in body shape at all for males: they need to be hung, young and buff. Is this true? If so, why?
So remember that although there are loads of images of men looking hung, young and buff everywhere try not to compare yourself to them. They fart, belch, eat crisps, go to the toilet, have spots, have ‘I feel fat’ days, wear comfortable rather than sexy pants, don’t always wash their hair, have unwanted hair, chew their nails, eat chips, eat with their mouths open, spill food down themselves too: just like everyone else.
They are images to make people sexually aroused/sell products/films. That’s all. So don’t take them seriously. Ok?
For more entertainment/education about porn try:
Porn: what is legal, what is right?
Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.
External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on
© Justin Hancock, bishtraining.com , 2010
Filed under Porn
Be Satisfied With Your Penis Size
Another video from me! Click below. It’s embedded on you tube, because I’m a cheapskate; so if you can’t see anything below, your network admin has probably blocked you tube. Apologies.
Filed under Uncategorized
Make Sex Last Longer
Check out my new vid or read in more detail below, or both! This is not for you young uns. Over 16s probably. Continue reading
How To Masturbate – the joys of solo sex explained
A guide on how to masturbate for males and females. Masturbation is totally fine, though not compulsory. Here are tips to make sure that you’re doing it safely.
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
Masturbation (wanking, frigging, tossing one off, choking the chicken, bashing the bishop, ‘staying in to wash my hair’) is great*. It’s teaches you about your body and how you can give yourself pleasure. It’s good to know how brilliant sex can feel before you start doing it with someone else. It’s also good as a stress reliever can loosen foreskin and many people find it helps with period pain. Most people do it because can feel so good and there’s nothing wrong in it – but it’s not compulsory, if you’re not feeling it that’s totally fine too.
Pro-Tip Make sure you’re in private and that you aren’t going to be disturbed (there’s a classic story about a mum bringing in a cup of tea). Also give yourself enough time to really enjoy it rather than just trying to ‘knock one out’ quickly (though sometimes doing it really quickly can be good too.)
*It does not make you go blind. It does not make you lose strength. It does not make you a weaker man. It does not make you a ‘slag’.
The clitoris has a skin ‘hood’ covering it to protect it as it is really sensitive. Try moving the hood over the clitoris in circles or from side to side or up and down or whatever feels good. Touching the clitoris directly can feel nice: try touching it lightly with wet fingers. You should feel the clitoris get harder and the whole vulva should start to get wet and feel sensitive and sexy.
Lots of people like to masturbate by putting their fingers inside the vagina. Different parts of the vagina feel sexy to different people. Lots of people like touching the front wall of the vagina (behind the clitoris): the ‘G-Spot’ area. The vagina will usually be wet if the person is aroused but some people find they need a bit more lubricant, such as water based lubricant or even their own saliva.
Pro Tip: probably a good idea to make sure that finger nails are trimmed and smooth before putting them inside
Lots of people like using sex toys to masturbate. There are lots of different ones for the clitoris, vagina, anus and penis. If you are going to use them you should also get some lubricant. If you plan to share them or use them in different openings you should clean them or put condoms on in between. You usually need to be 18 to get sex toys. To see what sex toys look like go to Sh! Womenstore
This is probably the most common way to masturbate penises. The hand acts like a pump moving the foreskin back and forward over bell end which is a very sensitive part of the penis. For circumcised penises, this is still a popular method, but they may need additional lubrication so that the bell end doesn’t get dry and sore (vaseline, cocoa butter, baby oil, water based lube if you’re using condoms).
It’s often a good idea to try something a bit different with penises so that masturbation doesn’t get boring. Many people like to try gently stroking the bell end with light strokes and wet fingers. Many people like to touch the frenulum (the skin on the underside of the bell end).
You can try anything else that feels nice*. Different lubricants, using two hands, using the other hand, turning the hand around the other way, lying in a different position, trying to delay coming for as long as possible (this helps to control when you orgasm/ejaculate), using more than one sex toy, penetrating the anus (use lube, wash hands afterwards and before touching any other part of the body), using water, using a shower head, doing it in the bath (don’t hog the bathroom though), massaging the testicles, rubbing against a pillow, stroking nipples, not using your hands at all (some people report being able to orgasm without any touch at all), feathers, moving your hands in a different direction, touching yourself in other areas.
*As my driving instructor used to say, “if it feels good, do it.” Though bear in mind, I still can’t drive…
How to be an Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex
Sex Educators! Get a free poster and handout over at bishtraining.com
© Justin Hancock, (yes that is a funny name for a sex educator) 2012 bishtraining.com
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Songs About Self-Love
There have been so many great songs in the history of modern popular music that I thought it would be remiss of me not to put a couple in here.
This is ‘Vibrate’ by Outkast which also seems to celebrate black history, and as it’s Black History Month this is very relevant!
This is John Peel’s favourite song (if you don’t know him, you should); ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones. The beginning is missing, which is annoying, anyway…
And this is ‘I Touch Myself’ by Divynls
Brook THT FPA
An Educational Guide to Porn – the difference between porn sex and real sex explained
The differences between porn sex and real life sex explained.
This is about porn. If you are a young un and never seen porn then please go away!
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
So lots of young people learn about sex and relationships from porn, for many young people it is a relatively safe way for them to learn about their sexuality (who they fancy, what kind of sex they might be interested in). The problem with this is that they can learn good and bad things. The legal age for watching porn is over 18, I think this is a probably good thing (though maybe it should be 16?). I think that you need to be old enough to understand some of the things going on.
Anyway I’ve written a blog below which should correct some misunderstandings you might have about porn if you’ve watched some and are confused. This is mainly about professionally made porn, though I think it also applies to amateur porn too (I think that amateur porn can recreate some of the norms and narratives of professionally made porn, so a lot of this is relevant).
Even though they are actually having sex in porn scenes, they are acting. It’s kind of like wrestling on the telly, it’s all made up even though it’s real. They are usually pretending to enjoy it, it’s edited together to look more fun, it lasts for ages, everything happens in the same order and they are putting on a show.
Porn sex is completely different from real sex.
More about this here
Some things are so common in porn that viewers can start to think that it’s ‘normal’. For example cumming (ejaculating) on someone is very popular in porn, but not everyone likes it really. Also anal sex is much more popular in porn than in real life.
In a lot of porn the actors look at the camera rather than each other. As most porn is made for straight men the woman looks into the camera so he can imagine he’s having sex with her. In porn made for women they usually don’t look at the camera, studies suggest that women watching find this a lot hotter.
Even in amateur porn (where it’s real couples having sex with each other and filming it), it’s usually the guy holding or directing the camera and the scenes end when the guy cums. Why does the sex always seem to end when the guy cums (when there is a guy of course)?
Some porn and sexy modelling (like Page 3 or Nuts) can be quite negative about women. Some people think that porn shows women as passive sex objects who have no power, with no brains and who’s only purpose is to have sex to please men. What do YOU think?
Some of the story lines of porn can be negative about women, such as Bangbus or other sites where women are ‘tricked’ into having sex. In reality these women are porn performers who are paid, but the story can be negative and unpleasant.
Also the language of porn can be negative about women and usually describes sex acts which are done to women rather than mutually pleasurable and consensual sex.
Don’t compare porn actor’s bodies with ordinary people. Few women have massive boobs and thin tummies. Porn actresses are often thin women who get boob jobs. Also porn actresses have little or no pubic hair and their vulvas don’t look like most women’s.
See the Bish video about this here
Dicks in porn have to be above average size (above 6 inches). The men also have to get hard (often relying on Viagra) and ejaculate on demand with a film crew standing around and the director shouting at them: even if they don’t fancy their co-star. They also often have to wax their back, arse and balls so that they aren’t hairy.
See the Bish video about this here
Condoms are not often used in porn (although they do use condoms in most gay porn). Porn actors have very regular check-ups for HIV and other STIs, (usually once a month). They are very aware of the risks they take and some studios insist on using condoms as well as getting check-ups.
Do you think they should use condoms in porn?
Plus check out this video from me
In real life people chat about what sex they like or dislike. They also talk about contraception, condoms, feelings, themselves, have a laugh and occasionally stop for a cup of tea. Porn chat is all about sex, it can be a bit degrading and negative.
Also there is a lot more moaning and groaning in porn than in real life, just like wrestling. Some of the noises and screaming might sound like it’s hurting, it’s meant to sound like they are enjoying it. Sex is not supposed to hurt. In real life some men and women like to make noise, sometimes not.
Pizza delivery guys really don’t get to have sex when they are delivering pizza. Same with gardeners and window cleaners. So I wouldn’t suggest that you apply for a job just cos you think you might get more sex.
Women don’t always dress up like this to have sex. They also don’t always wear make-up or comb their hair.
In porn group sex is very popular. But in the real world people usually only like having sex with one person at a time. It can be fun to watch because there is more going on, but it’s entertainment.They are getting paid to pretend to like it. The better they pretend the better they are at their jobs and the more they get paid.
Of course in the real world some people do like group sex, I’m just saying it’s maybe not as common as it is in the porn world.
In mainstream porn, women are expected to get it on with men AND women. But two men can only touch each other in gay porn. Why? Because most porn is made by straight men for straight men. However more women are getting into porn, so this may change and things might get better. Lots of women like watching gay porn specifically to watch two hot guys going at it.
Many people think that porn is harmful. Some former pornstars have left the industry and campaign against it saying that it exploits women and hurts people watching it.
But many people think that porn is good. Women get paid more than men. Porn can show men and women positively too and can help people to explore their sexuality. Check this link about women who are Pro-Porn Our Porn Our Selves
For more entertainment/education about porn try:
Porn: what is legal, what is right?
Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.
External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on
Could you help us research the area of young people, the internet and porn? If you can spare 5 minutes can you click here and do a questionnaire please?
Are you a parent, teacher, youth worker, sex educator? Why not buy this downloadable resource pack about working with young people around porn. Click below
all images and text © Justin Hancock, Bish Training, 2010
Talking to teens about porn, porn harms, is porn harmful, educational guide to porn, boys, lads, porn, sex
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This is a fantastic and funny video from guidetogettingiton, WATCH IT!!
One of my favourite things on the web is this comic strip about one girl’s thoughts about porn
http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,663683,00.html
While you’re at’ Gurl’ check out all the other amazing stuff there.
Fellow sex blogger Julian has written this lovely piece about how he became friends with a pornstar at the age of 16 and what she taught him
http://post-gradgigolo.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-first-sex-worker.html
Here is a great interview (not very loud though) with famous pornstar Nina Hartley. She promotes non-penetrative sex and talks about alcohol, feminism and stuff.
There’s no nudity in it
And here’s a video from clip from ‘Friends’: the one where Chandler and Joey get free porn.
Filed under Porn
The Penis, Hard Ons, Dick Size and Everything Else Explained
A guide to the Penis, Average Dick Size, Hard Ons, Foreskin, the Bell End and Frenulum.
This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.
Old Chap, Old Feller, Meat and Two Veg, John Thomas, Anthony are just some of the amusing names that men give to their penises. Here are a few facts below and actual pictures of erections which are purely for educational purposes and are properly legitimate… and not mine. Ok?
You probably don’t need me to tell you that penises have two main functions: peeing and cumming. A penis needs to be hard in order to cum and it is very very difficult to pee when the penis is really hard.
Erections can happen when a male is feeling really turned on (sexy) but can also happen at other times. In the morning when testosterone is at a high level (also known as morning glory: this has cock all to do with needing to pee, it’s just a coincidence ok?), or on a bus, or in a classroom, or at work. This can be embarrassing but there are ways that they can be hidden (hands in pockets, sitting down, pulling top down or even wearing two pairs of pants if it happens a lot).
Sometimes erections don’t happen when we really want them too. Even when males are feeling really turned on and wanting sex sometimes they can get the flop. This can happen for medical reasons: but usually it’s a temporary problem that is often caused by not being relaxed. This can be because of stress generally, worries about ‘performance’ (ironically worrying about staying hard can make it harder to stay hard), anxiety about being seen naked or about safer sex. Any kind of tension or anxiety can make an erection go away.
It’s also really important to remember that guys aren’t machines. It’s really important for guys to spend time getting turned on too (kissing, stroking, etc). In porn you only see guys with erections because if they lose their erection the director shouts ‘cut’, so please don’t compare yourself.
Penis Size
I’ve made a video about penis size which you can see here. Basically most penises are about the same size (around 5.5 inches) when erect but vary a lot more when they are soft. Guys who have a small looking penis when soft usually get a lot bigger when they get hard (grow-ers) and usually bigger looking soft penises don’t get much bigger, just harder (show-ers).
Penis size has nothing to do with how good sex can feel and there’s not a lot you can do about increasing penis size anyway. However, check the video out. There are a couple of cheats that can make guys feel a bit more confident about their penis size.
If foreskin doesn’t roll back easily then it could get damaged during sexual intercourse. If it is tight you can try some self-stretching exercises from NormUK. Try stretching the foreskin forward and then backwards as far as it will go, hold it for a few seconds and then let go and repeat. It might help to do this in the bath or shower as the warm water will help to stretch the skin. Little by little over a few weeks the hole (prepuce) will get bigger and so the foreskin should slide over the glans more easily.
Only do this if it is comfortable and be careful that it doesn’t get stuck (try and move it back straight away or go to a doctor). If in any doubt see your doctor, who may prescribe a steriod cream to loosen it or recommend circumcision: removal of the foreskin.
(The loosening of foreskin during puberty is a gradual process as the penis grows and through masturbation during adolescence, for a study on this click here)
If you have foreskin it is important to clean under it regularly to stop dick cheese (also known as smegma) building up.
The glans and frenulum are very sensitive and so are protected by foreskin. Some guys are circumcised (a surgical procedure where part of the foreskin is removed) which means that over time their glans might become less sensitive.
Spots (or papules) are very common but unusual lumps and bumps should be checked out in case it’s a STI.
More Bish Penis/Balls related hings
Be Satisfied With The Size Of Your Penis there’s also a video of that here
Pubic Privates pubes are good, but they are yours to do with as you want
Don’t Compare yourself with Porn actors: they have to have bigger than average willies
© Justin Hancock (yes, it says cock), 2012 bishtraining.com
Male Health is such a great website. This one is about penis problems; some of it will make your eyes water…
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=1351
This one is a toolkit for the penis
http://www.malehealth.co.uk/userpage1.cfm?item_id=127
This website is about how to look after your foreskin
And if you want to look at some other men’s penises to compare (not porn) go to
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Penis
This is another hilarious yet informative video from videojug
Sex Advice For Teens:
How To Hide An Unwanted Erection
Brook THT FPA
Filed under Sexual Body Parts
