Tag Archives: Vulva

Pubic Privates

So lots of people choose to trim, shave, or wax the hair around their genitals, known as pubic hair, or pubes. They might do this because

  • They think it looks better
  • They want to make their penis look bigger
  • They prefer the feel of having fewer or shorter pubic hairs
  • They think that their partner might prefer it (for example, to reduce the chance of pubes getting in the mouth during oral sex)
  • Porn performers often have very trimmed pubic hair* and they may want to look like that (do people really do this?!)
  • It might be a cultural thing**

All fair enough. If you want to trim, shave or wax your pubes then do it: they are your pubes you can do what you like!

However, it’s important to know that pubes have a function. They help to lubricate and protect the genitals. They prevent friction burns if you like rubbing genitals with someone else (which is very popular apparently).

I’ve heard stories of people shaving or waxing their pubes and getting a rash or little spots, and then freaking out that they might have an infection. But this is commonly because of either friction burns or ingrowing hairs caused by waxing/shaving.

Also it’s thought that pubic hair can help to release our own natural scent which makes us attractive to other people (pheremones). But I wouldn’t advise that you deliberately grow your pubes really long in order to attract someone! Lots of people might not like this smell and choose to shave or trim: that’s fine. But also know that the smell is natural and meant to be there.

* Porn performers have trimmed hair because it’s then easier to see what’s going on. Also porn is very visual and people making porn think that people watching porn don’t want to see loads of hair, especially as the camera is pointing at people’s genitals for such a long time. Some might argue that porn performers, especially female porn performers, wax their pubic hair to make them look younger than they are.

** Pubic and body hair in general is often culturally specific. In some cultures pubic hair removal is seen as a normal thing to do. Also it seems to be accepted amongst most people in the UK (for example) that women should shave their legs and/or armpits.

Shout outs to Team Bish for reviewing this for me especially @crowjake and @marmaladelucy

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Am I Normal? (nsfw?)

(there are educational photographs  of women’s vulvas on this page. I think it’s ‘safe for work’ but you may disagree. So beware! Vulva’s are dangerous and unsafe!) Brook THT FPA

am i normal header

The short answer to this is probably YES.

But I know that you love reading my blogs and would be really disappointed if I wasn’t going to waffle on.

Anyway my mate Lauren told me to do this blog (hi Loz) because she heard something on the radio about how girls are wanting surgery on their vulvas because they think that they aren’t normal. So I’m going to show you what they can’t show you on the radio: lots of pictures of perfectly ‘normal’ vulvas.

They are all different and all normal. So don’t compare yourself to women in porn films this is what they look like. Got that?

NB (14.4.11) most of these vulvas are shaved, they’re just the best pics I could find. I reckon most women don’t shave their pubes, it has an important function.

Female Sexual Body Parts how the clitoris works

Pubic Privates: they’re your pubes, shave them if you want to.

Don’t Compare! yourself with porn actors

Big Up Yourself because you are a lot more than just your vulva

 

If you want more pictures or want to download them for yourself they are available here       http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Vulva

© Justin Hancock, 2012 bishtraining.com

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An Educational Guide to Porn – the difference between porn sex and real sex explained

The differences between porn sex and real life sex explained.

This is about porn. If you are a young un and never seen porn then please go away! 


This piece is taken from Sex Explained: A Real and Relevant Guide to Sex, Relationships and You.

So lots of young people learn about sex and relationships from porn, for many young people it is a relatively safe way for them to learn about their sexuality (who they fancy, what kind of sex they might be interested in). The problem with this is that they can learn good and bad things. The legal age for watching porn is over 18, I think this is a probably good thing (though maybe it should be 16?). I think that you need to be old enough to understand some of the things going on.

Anyway I’ve written a blog below which should correct some misunderstandings you might have about porn if you’ve watched some and are confused. This is mainly about professionally made porn, though I think it also applies to amateur porn too (I think that amateur porn can recreate some of the norms and narratives of professionally made porn, so a lot of this is relevant).

They Are Acting

Even though they are actually having sex in porn scenes, they are acting. It’s kind of like wrestling on the telly, it’s all made up even though it’s real. They are usually pretending to enjoy it,  it’s edited together to look more fun, it lasts for ages, everything happens in the same order and they are putting on a show.

Porn sex is completely different from real sex.

More about this here

It's not all 'normal'

Some things are so common in porn that viewers can start to think that it’s ‘normal’. For example cumming (ejaculating) on someone is very popular in porn, but not everyone likes it really. Also anal sex is much more popular in porn than in real life.

It's mostly for men

In a lot of porn the actors look at the camera rather than each other. As most porn is made for straight men the woman looks into the camera so he can imagine he’s having sex with her. In porn made for women they usually don’t look at the camera, studies suggest that women watching find this a lot hotter.

Even in amateur porn (where it’s real couples having sex with each other and filming it), it’s usually the guy holding or directing the camera and the scenes end when the guy cums. Why does the sex always seem to end when the guy cums (when there is a guy of course)?

It can be negative about women

Some porn and sexy modelling (like Page 3 or Nuts) can be quite negative about women. Some people think that porn shows women as passive sex objects who have no power, with no brains and who’s only purpose is to have sex to please men. What do YOU think?

Some of the story lines of porn can be negative about women, such as Bangbus or other sites where women are ‘tricked’ into having sex. In reality these women are porn performers who are paid, but the story can be negative and unpleasant.

Also the language of porn can be negative about women and usually describes sex acts which are done to women rather than mutually pleasurable and consensual sex.

Porn ladies

Don’t compare porn actor’s bodies with ordinary people. Few women have massive boobs and thin tummies. Porn actresses are often thin women who get boob jobs. Also porn actresses have little or no pubic hair and their vulvas don’t look like most women’s.

See the Bish video about this here

Porn Blokes

Dicks in porn have to  be above average size (above 6 inches). The men also have to get hard (often relying on Viagra) and ejaculate on demand with a film crew standing around and the director shouting at them: even if they don’t fancy their co-star. They also often have to wax their back, arse and balls so that they aren’t hairy.

See the Bish video about this here

Condoms

Condoms are not often used in porn (although they do use condoms in most gay porn). Porn actors have very regular check-ups for HIV and other STIs, (usually once a month). They are very aware of the risks they take and some studios insist on using condoms as well as getting check-ups.
Do you think they should use condoms in porn?

Plus check out this video from me

Sexy talk

In real life people chat about what sex they like or dislike. They also talk about contraception, condoms, feelings, themselves, have a laugh and occasionally stop for a cup of tea. Porn chat is all about sex, it can be a bit degrading and negative.

Also there is a lot more moaning and groaning in porn than in real life, just like wrestling. Some of the noises and screaming might sound like it’s hurting, it’s meant to sound like they are enjoying it. Sex is not supposed to hurt. In real life some men and women like to make noise, sometimes not.

Career Advice

Pizza delivery guys really don’t get to have sex when they are delivering pizza. Same with gardeners and window cleaners. So I wouldn’t suggest that you apply for a job just cos you think you might get more sex.

Porno Chic

Women don’t always dress up like this to have sex. They also don’t always wear make-up or comb their hair.

Group Sex

In porn group sex is very popular. But in the real world people usually only like having sex with one person at a time. It can be fun to watch because there is more going on, but it’s entertainment.They are getting paid to pretend to like it. The better they pretend the better they are at their jobs and the more they get paid.

Of course in the real world some people do like group sex, I’m just saying it’s maybe not as common as it is in the porn world.

In mainstream porn, women are expected to get it on with men AND women. But two men can only touch each other in gay porn. Why? Because most porn is made by straight men for straight men. However more women are getting into porn, so this may change and things might get better. Lots of women like watching gay porn specifically to watch two hot guys going at it.

Porn is bad?

Many people think that porn is harmful. Some former pornstars have left the industry and campaign against it saying that it exploits women and hurts people watching it.

Porn is good?

But many people think that porn is good. Women get paid more than men. Porn can show men and women positively too and can help people to explore their sexuality. Check this link about women who are Pro-Porn Our Porn Our Selves

For more entertainment/education about porn try:

Porn: what is legal, what is right?

Sexting: Why making your own porn can be a really really bad idea.

External Ejaculation: Cos not everyone likes being cummed on

Stickman Porn Competition!

Could you help us research the area of young people, the internet and porn? If you can spare 5 minutes can you click here and do a questionnaire please?

Are you a parent, teacher, youth worker, sex educator? Why not buy this downloadable resource pack about working with young people around porn. Click below

all images and text © Justin Hancock, Bish Training, 2010

Talking to teens about porn, porn harms, is porn harmful, educational guide to porn, boys, lads, porn, sex

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This is a fantastic and funny video from guidetogettingiton, WATCH IT!!

One of my favourite things on the web is this comic strip about one girl’s thoughts about porn

http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/0,,663683,00.html

While you’re at’ Gurl’ check out all the other amazing stuff there.

Fellow sex blogger Julian has written this lovely piece about how he became friends with a pornstar at the age of 16 and what she taught him

http://post-gradgigolo.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-first-sex-worker.html

Here is a great interview (not very loud though) with famous pornstar Nina Hartley.  She promotes non-penetrative sex and talks about alcohol,  feminism and stuff.

There’s no nudity in it

And here’s a video from clip from ‘Friends’: the one where Chandler and Joey get free porn.

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Female Reproductive Body Parts

This explains about the female reproductive body parts and what happens during the menstrual cycle. For more about fertility go to this page

Vagina – The vagina is very stretchy and widens and lengthens when sexually aroused. It’s up to 6 inches long. It’s surrounded by lots of muscle so afer stretching it goes back to normal size.

Cervix – This is the neck of the womb.  There is a very small gap here allowing sperm to swim into the womb. During pregnancy the cervix part to allow the baby through. It’s also where smear tests are taken to  look for cervical cancer.

Womb / Womb Lining – Fertilized eggs attach here and grow during pregnancy. Before eggs are released a sticky lining is created so that a fertilized egg (embryo) can stick to the womb, starting pregnancy.

Fallopian Tubes – Where sperm meet eggs during fertilization.

Ovaries – Where eggs are stored and released. 1 or 2 eggs are released in each menstrual cycle (this is ovulation).

Menstrual Cycle

An egg (or two) is released from the ovary once in a menstrual cycle: this is known as ovulation and happens around halfway through the cycle (it is not at the same time as a period).

For pregnancy to start one sperm* needs to fertilise the egg, which then has to implant in the womb lining.

*There are up to 300 million sperm in every ejaculation, they can live for up to 7 days inside the female

The egg dies around 24 hours after being released. After that it is not possible to get pregnant until the next egg is released in the next cycle. Unfertilised eggs, womb lining and a little bit of blood then come out, a few days later, during a period. The first day of a period is the first day of a new cycle, as the graphic below shows…

Want more?

Fertility Explained

Contraception: Sex Without Making Babies

Busted! Contraception and Pregnancy Myths

 

This information available in a leaflet for purchase for educators and healthcare practitioners. Click here for details

© Justin Hancock, 2011 Bish Training


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