How To Masturbate (aka how to wank)

Most people masturbate: men and women. It’s totally fine but you don’t have to do it. Here’s how to wank and to make sure you’re doing it safely and pleasurably.

Masturbation (wanking, frigging, tossing one off, choking the chicken, bashing the bishop, ‘staying in to wash my hair’) is great*. It’s teaches you about your body and how you can give yourself pleasure. It’s good to know how brilliant sex can feel before you start doing it with someone else. It’s also good as a stress reliever can loosen foreskin and many people find it helps with period pain. Most people do it because can feel so good and there’s nothing wrong in it – but it’s not compulsory, if you’re not feeling it that’s totally fine too.

Pro-Tip Make sure you’re in private and that you aren’t going to be disturbed (there’s a classic story about a mum bringing in a cup of tea). Also give yourself enough time to really enjoy it rather than just trying to ‘knock one out’ quickly (though sometimes doing it really quickly can be good too.)

*It does not make you go blind. It does not make you lose strength. It does not make you a weaker man. It does not make you a ‘slag’.

Masturbating the Clitoris

The clitoris has a skin ‘hood’ covering it to protect it as it is really sensitive. Try moving the hood over the clitoris in circles or from side to side or up and down or whatever feels good. Touching the clitoris directly can feel nice: try touching it lightly with wet fingers. You should feel the clitoris get harder and the whole vulva should start to get wet and feel sensitive and sexy.

Masturbating the Vagina

Lots of people like to masturbate by putting their fingers inside the vagina. Different parts of the vagina feel sexy to different people. Lots of people like touching the front wall of the vagina (behind the clitoris): the ‘G-Spot’ area. The vagina will usually be wet if the person is aroused but some people find they need a bit more lubricant, such as water based lubricant or even their own saliva.

Pro Tip: probably a good idea to make sure that finger nails are trimmed and smooth before putting them inside

Sex Toys

Lots of people like using sex toys to masturbate. There are lots of different ones for the clitoris, vagina, anus and penis. If you are going to use them you should also get some lubricant. If you plan to share them or use them in different openings you should clean them or put condoms on in between. You usually need to be 18 to get sex toys. To see what sex toys look like go to Sh! Womenstore

Masturbating the Penis

This is probably the most common way to masturbate penises. The hand acts like a pump moving the foreskin back and forward over bell end which is a very sensitive part of the penis. For circumcised penises, this is still a popular method, but they may need additional lubrication so that the bell end doesn’t get dry and sore (vaseline, cocoa butter, baby oil, water based lube if you’re using condoms).

It’s often a good idea to try something a bit different with penises so that masturbation doesn’t get boring. Many people like to try gently stroking the bell end with light strokes and wet fingers. Many people like to touch the frenulum (the skin on the underside of the bell end).

More Ideas for Masturbating

You can try anything else that feels nice*. Different lubricants, using two hands, using the other hand, turning the  hand around the other way, lying in a different position, trying to delay coming for as long as possible (this helps to control when you orgasm/ejaculate), using more than one sex toy, penetrating the anus (use lube, wash hands afterwards and before touching any other part of the body), using water, using a shower head, doing it in the bath (don’t hog the bathroom though), massaging the testicles, rubbing against a pillow, stroking nipples, not using your hands at all (some people report being able to orgasm without any touch at all), feathers, moving your hands in a different direction, touching yourself in other areas.

*As my driving instructor used to say, “if it feels good, do it.” Though bear in mind, I still can’t drive…

Try This Masturbation Quiz!

More About Masturbation

The Penis

The Clitoris

How to be an Amazing Lover Without Having Entry Sex

Am I Masturbating Too Much?

Sex Educators! Get a free poster and handout over at

© Justin Hancock, (yes that is a funny name for a sex educator) 2012


Songs About Self-Love

There have been so many great songs in the history of modern popular music that I thought it would be remiss of me not to put a couple in here.

This is ‘Vibrate’ by Outkast which also seems to celebrate black history, and as it’s Black History Month this is very relevant!

This is John Peel’s favourite song (if you don’t know him, you should); ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones. The beginning is missing, which is annoying, anyway…

And this is ‘I Touch Myself’ by Divynls



Filed under Not Doing 'It', Doing 'It' and Doing 'Stuff', Staying Safe

45 responses to “How To Masturbate (aka how to wank)

  1. I’m not sure your advice about using vibrators making it harder to reach orgasm in other ways is really true. Any numbing effect would be very temporary, so it might make it harder to come again within a couple of hours, but otherwise orgasmic capacity should remain unchanged. Do you have any further info to back up this assertion? Would be interested to see genuine research into this area.

    • bishtraining

      Thanks. I did say sometimes though….

      • Indeed. It just seems to be one of those myths that people trot out from time to time, but not based on any actual evidence. Having worked as a sex educator for several years, I’ve never met anyone who has found the use of a vibrator to be anything other than a positive thing, and no-one who has said it has diminished their orgasmic capacity. Just wondered if there was any research into this…

    • Louise

      I have to admit that vibrators have always made it harder for me to reach orgasm; the numbing sensation lasts quite a while for me so in the end I normally just use my fingers to avoid the side-effects of numbness. Personal experience here, not a research paper ;).

      • Isn’t the numbness pleasurable?
        Sorry, I’m a man so I don’t know how it feels, but I want to ask my girlfriend to try having fun on herself.

  2. bishtraining

    I don’t think I’ve suggested that vibrators are negative or that they can diminish someone’s orgasmic capacity. If you don’t like what I’ve had to say, why not go and write your own website for teens?

  3. It’s not that I don’t like what you have to say at all, I’m just interested in exploring some of the points you’ve made.

    I do write my own blog and run my own website, thanks! Although it’s aimed at adults, not teenagers.

  4. I found a link this week and thought you might be interested to see it. It’s taken from Betty Dodson’s excellent website, and addresses the question of whether using a vibrator can affect your sexual response/sensitivity:
    [in short: answer, no; but we can all get used to only doing things one way]

  5. By the way, my website is
    Come on over some time!

  6. dan white

    these picture make me hard

  7. i think i have learned more of what i did’nt know even though i like having sex with big grownups.thanks

  8. Hi bishuk, could you tell me what ‘dry humping’ is? Im old enough to know b.t.w, Just thought you should know. :p Well, I luv ur site also :)

  9. Travis

    I just turned 14 last week and I’m wondering what “phone sex” is, my sister talks about time all the time.( she’s 17)

  10. agalo

    its nice to masturbate

  11. eject

    Most teens like to wank two or three times a day (myself included) normally in the shower or in bed. However, if you leave off for a few days, you will have a huge orgasm. It seems the more semen you eject, the greater your orgasm and your pleasure. Remember to clean up – peel back your foreskin and wash with warm soapy water – if you are uncut remember that your penis can leak after masturbation and it stays under the foreskin. Luckily, my parents had me ‘cut’ so that my glans is always outside.

  12. Ashley

    Hello I was worrying how do you really have sex I’m 12 and I just want to know I don’t know why I do but I do I know this is kinda worried

    • Victor

      Ashley I’m 12 to (I’m a guy) Ashley is a hot name,u put the penis into the vagina and the guy moves up and down and u r having sex.p.s. what state do u live in.

      That was a weird question☺

    • Babe

      Sex is putting the penis inside the vagina haha

  13. kieren little

    Hi I am new to this website plz someone give me a Q. I am 16yrs of age.

  14. Joshua

    I’m 12 13 in two days and I want sex btw I’m a boy

  15. Joshua

    Hay Nathan do you play cop n robbers:)

  16. Joshua

    Thnx Nathan:)

  17. Joshua

    I realy apritiate that :D

  18. maturbate

    I masturbate all the time, I love it

  19. annomonus

    I love to masturbate, it makes me feel so sexy

  20. What wrong if the sperm is coming out not that watery

  21. ShrekSauce

    When I try to pull my foreskin back, it’s kinda tight. It’s difficult to fully masturbate without doing so. How can I make this easier?

  22. Jonathan Amuzie

    masturbation is both and bad

  23. Heeey Have a question, I masturbate every single day and it’s not 2 – 3 times a day either, most of the time I do it all day long with 30 minute breaks between each one. 1st of without touching myself and then touching myself and i end up having to start putting anything soft and wet on my fingers for obvious reason. I enjoy fingering/touching myself the most when I’m wearing school uniform for some weird reason i just like it ha so anyway is what i’m doing bad for me? am i over doing it? am i the only 1 who doesn’t masturbate naked or half dressed?

  24. Tendai matinyadze

    That is bulshit

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