Most people masturbate: men and women. It’s totally fine but you don’t have to do it. Here’s how to wank and to make sure you’re doing it safely and pleasurably.
Masturbation (wanking, frigging, tossing one off, choking the chicken, bashing the bishop, ‘staying in to wash my hair’) is great*. It’s teaches you about your body and how you can give yourself pleasure. It’s good to know how brilliant sex can feel before you start doing it with someone else. It’s also good as a stress reliever can loosen foreskin and many people find it helps with period pain. Most people do it because can feel so good and there’s nothing wrong in it – but it’s not compulsory, if you’re not feeling it that’s totally fine too.
Pro-Tip Make sure you’re in private and that you aren’t going to be disturbed (there’s a classic story about a mum bringing in a cup of tea). Also give yourself enough time to really enjoy it rather than just trying to ‘knock one out’ quickly (though sometimes doing it really quickly can be good too.)
*It does not make you go blind. It does not make you lose strength. It does not make you a weaker man. It does not make you a ‘slag’.
Masturbating the Clitoris
The clitoris has a skin ‘hood’ covering it to protect it as it is really sensitive. Try moving the hood over the clitoris in circles or from side to side or up and down or whatever feels good. Touching the clitoris directly can feel nice: try touching it lightly with wet fingers. You should feel the clitoris get harder and the whole vulva should start to get wet and feel sensitive and sexy.
Masturbating the Vagina
Lots of people like to masturbate by putting their fingers inside the vagina. Different parts of the vagina feel sexy to different people. Lots of people like touching the front wall of the vagina (behind the clitoris): the ‘G-Spot’ area. The vagina will usually be wet if the person is aroused but some people find they need a bit more lubricant, such as water based lubricant or even their own saliva.
Pro Tip: probably a good idea to make sure that finger nails are trimmed and smooth before putting them inside
Lots of people like using sex toys to masturbate. There are lots of different ones for the clitoris, vagina, anus and penis. If you are going to use them you should also get some lubricant. If you plan to share them or use them in different openings you should clean them or put condoms on in between. You usually need to be 18 to get sex toys. To see what sex toys look like go to Sh! Womenstore
Masturbating the Penis
This is probably the most common way to masturbate penises. The hand acts like a pump moving the foreskin back and forward over bell end which is a very sensitive part of the penis. For circumcised penises, this is still a popular method, but they may need additional lubrication so that the bell end doesn’t get dry and sore (vaseline, cocoa butter, baby oil, water based lube if you’re using condoms).
It’s often a good idea to try something a bit different with penises so that masturbation doesn’t get boring. Many people like to try gently stroking the bell end with light strokes and wet fingers. Many people like to touch the frenulum (the skin on the underside of the bell end).
More Ideas for Masturbating
You can try anything else that feels nice*. Different lubricants, using two hands, using the other hand, turning the hand around the other way, lying in a different position, trying to delay coming for as long as possible (this helps to control when you orgasm/ejaculate), using more than one sex toy, penetrating the anus (use lube, wash hands afterwards and before touching any other part of the body), using water, using a shower head, doing it in the bath (don’t hog the bathroom though), massaging the testicles, rubbing against a pillow, stroking nipples, not using your hands at all (some people report being able to orgasm without any touch at all), feathers, moving your hands in a different direction, touching yourself in other areas.
*As my driving instructor used to say, “if it feels good, do it.” Though bear in mind, I still can’t drive…
Sex Educators! Get a free poster and handout over at bishtraining.com
© Justin Hancock, (yes that is a funny name for a sex educator) 2012 bishtraining.com
Songs About Self-Love
There have been so many great songs in the history of modern popular music that I thought it would be remiss of me not to put a couple in here.
This is ‘Vibrate’ by Outkast which also seems to celebrate black history, and as it’s Black History Month this is very relevant!
This is John Peel’s favourite song (if you don’t know him, you should); ‘Teenage Kicks’ by The Undertones. The beginning is missing, which is annoying, anyway…
And this is ‘I Touch Myself’ by Divynls
Brook THT FPA